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education for some people is the key to success, but to others it does not matter, do you agree with this position

#education #people #success #matter #position
The lack of education does not imply a failure in people´s future. In some cases, the wealthiest individuals had less educated backgrounds. In my opinion,
success
 is not always granted just by money, but for some other things more relevant, and most of the time, those things are not related to people`s education level.
Therefore
, I think
that is
 the main reason why it is possible to find so many successful people coming from the less expected places, maybe with just the basic knowledge, but with enough courage to start a path on their own.
Success
, from my point of view, describes happiness, and people only can achieve that by enjoying what they do, being surrounded by those who matter the most and having inner peace. Undoubtedly it is possible to find some other positions
due to
this
 controversial subject, many people think that being successful means being a high executive, a great doctor, maybe a great entrepreneur, and so on.
That is
 the case of a friend, who can not believe that
success
 can come without lots of money or exceptional career achievements.
To sum up
, the definition of
success
, I think is completely particular for each person. Because is not something predetermined,
that is
 the reason why
success
 has as many meanings as ways to see life, and with no doubt it does not depend on education. In my opinion, we all are allowed to be successful in our own way, and we should be encouraged to pursue what truly makes us happy,
that is
 the only
success
 that matters
at the end
 of our lives.
Submitted by otiyog on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and provided a clear opinion. To improve, try to incorporate specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and clear progression of ideas. However, make sure each paragraph explicitly supports your main argument to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion and sets the stage for the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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