In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Adaptation of a healthy lifestyle has exuberantly improved the longevity of lives by more than 2 decades in many countries like Japan. Certain cohorts of people believe that it has a negative impact
whereas
others perceive it as a positive trend. In the upcoming paragraphs, I shall explore the argument on both sides reviewing both perks and perils of the old population.
To commence with, the old people are considered as a treasure house of knowledge and wisdom enriching the company and society irrefutably. An experienced aficionado will be in an unequivocally better position to deal with matters of the company through his experience and skill as compared to equally
qualified youngster. Add an article
an equally
Secondly
, Geriatric
population can provide Correct article usage
the Geriatric
with
immense support in the conventional household environment by babysitting and nurturing the infants as most couples are working in Change preposition
apply
the
today’s contemporary world, Correct article usage
apply
also
encouraging the
cultural values to be instilled in the grandchildren. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, a grandmother can take care of her toddler grandchildren as well as
support in instilling familial heritage and teaching basic learning as well.
On the
contrary
unfortunately, some inevitable challenges are inherently associated with the process of ageing which might get compounded by a surging old population burdening fragile health care and government economy. As people age they are more vulnerable and prone to suffer from a plethora of diseases burdening the Add a comma
contrary,
health care
infrastructure, Correct your spelling
healthcare
similarly
most government employees are provided with pensions, so the duration is likely to upsurge as the longevity has enhanced overburdening the financial sector.
To conclude
, although
there are issues of economic overburden by the government. however
, the wisdom and skill shared with the knowledge contributed by the elderly are indispensable to the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid using jargon or overly complex words that may confuse the reader, such as 'aficionado.' Simplicity often enhances clarity.
task achievement
Work on expanding the range of supporting examples to provide a more thorough exploration of the topic, helping to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Focus on sentence variety and improving the flow between ideas. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain reader engagement.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is strong, clearly stating the topic and your intentions to explore both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You present specific examples, such as the role of grandparents in a child's development, which illustrates your points well.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion ties back well to your initial points, reinforcing the main arguments effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.