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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is sometimes said people should be encouraged to get married before the age of 30 as it is best for society.do u agree or disagree

#people #age #society
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Some
people
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 believe that
people
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 should be inspired to get married before their 30s because
this
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 is beneficial for
society
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. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because if
people
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 get married before their 30s, they can start their families early and they can contribute to
society
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 in their later lives. If
people
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 get married before the
age
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 of 30, they can be able to start their families early. They can fully enjoy the first two years of their marriage, and
then
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, they can go for family planning. Those who become parents at
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 young
age
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,
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apply
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 can raise
children
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 early.
Therefore
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, they have the mental and physical strength to look after their
children
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 in their early 30s and raising
children
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 becomes easy for them. Most importantly, they become able to witness the growth of their
children
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 and their
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
 become adults and independent in front of their eyes.
For instance
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, many Bangladeshi young
people
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 prefer getting married before they become 30 only because they want to see their
children
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 becoming adults when they are alive.
Moreover
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, if a person gets married
at
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in
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 their early 30s, they can complete all their familial responsibilities
at
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in
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 his early 50s.
Therefore
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, they can dedicate the later part of the
age
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 to
society
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. They can contribute to
society
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, join in the
community
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, work for
people
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 and
society
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, give hands to others in
community
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 work, and discuss and provide their important opinions in
community
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 meetings. These contributions
not
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are not
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 only beneficial for
society
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, but
also
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 for their personal well-being. In Japan,
for example
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, in
early
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the early
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 50s,
people
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 complete all their familial responsibilities when their
children
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 become adults and independent and they start working in
local
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the local
show examples
community
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. They love it because
this
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community
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 work not only allows them to contribute to
society
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 but
also
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good
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is good
show examples
 for their health. In conclusion, I completely agree with the viewpoint that it is beneficial for
people
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 and
society
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 to get married before their 30s. It will help them to raise their
children
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 easily in their early
age
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 and contribute to
society
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 in their later
age
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.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
While your essay presents clear ideas, consider expanding slightly on the potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives. This can offer a more balanced view and showcase your ability to address different viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the connections between the main ideas and examples provided are explicit. This can help in enhancing the logical flow and making your arguments more robust.
coherence cohesion
Maintain varied sentence structures throughout the essay to enhance readability and engagement. This variety can help sustain the reader's interest.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task with clear arguments for why marrying before 30 can be beneficial for individuals and society.
task achievement
Examples used in the essay, such as the references to Bangladesh and Japan, effectively illustrate your points and lend credibility.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, and they effectively frame your argument, which is very important for a structured essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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