Some people believe that the best way to increase the road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea? what is the possible outcome of this trend?

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Many individuals argue that the minimum driving
age
should be raised to ensure road
safety
for drivers. I disagree with
this
, as the minimum
age
does not influence
safety
; rather, driver habits
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the most important factor.
Furthermore
, raising the minimum
age
could lead to social criticism, especially from teenagers. Many
people
mistakenly believe that increasing the minimum
age
will improve road
safety
. In reality, driving
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
has a much greater impact on
safety
.
People
have different habits when driving—some focus on the journey, paying attention to both traffic signs and signals,
while
others disobey the rules and may multitask,
such
as using a mobile phone. The second manner puts others at risk, regardless of
age
restrictions.
For example
, a police investigation found that 65% of accidents on highways are caused by human errors,
such
as texting, watching movies, or having conversations on a smartphone
while
driving.
This
leads to an increase in mortality rates and can be categorized as unsafe driving habits. Raising the minimum driving
age
could
also
provoke protests in society.
This
is because it disregards the needs of young
people
, particularly those who are 17, to drive for daily activities. When individuals reach 17 years old, they often need a vehicle to commute to university or socialize with friends, especially if public transport is inaccessible
due to
distance.
Thus
,
this
rule could lead to both disappointment and potential defiance against the authorities.
For instance
, in Japan in 2012, students protested against a proposal to increase the minimum driving
age
to 20, resulting in riots and an 8-hour traffic jam in Tokyo. Increasing the legal driving
age
does not contribute to road
safety
and may lead to rejection from young
people
.
On the other hand
, driver manner is the most significant factor affecting street
safety
. Ideally, the government should consider the essential needs of young
people
and allow them to drive for daily activities if they meet the necessary requirements.
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coherence
Introduce a bit more variety in transitional phrases to enhance coherence. Currently, some sections could benefit from more diverse linking expressions.
task achievement
Provide additional specific examples to further illustrate your arguments, particularly around different countries' experiences with driving ages and safety rates.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main arguments you will discuss.
relevant specific examples
You have provided specific statistics (e.g., 65% of accidents caused by human error) which help strengthen your argument.
logical structure
Your main points are well-supported and logically organized, making your essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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