An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

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It is no doubt true that obesity in childhood leads to serious health problems in future. Personally, I think

this

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problem is caused by the changing lifestyles of the younger generation. They prefer now sitting at home and playing online games

instead

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of doing active things with peers and eating junk food. With age, opportunities to get in shape and prevent diseases are reducing.

Therefore

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, it is extremely important to take care of the lifestyle of kids, their activity, eating habits and bad habits. I believe there are many reasons for the fact that the younger generation is overweight now. First of all, most of them pretty often eat junk food,

for instance

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, chips, burgers, french fries, etc. Nowadays, there is a huge diversity of

such

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food in supermarkets. The second reason, I guess, is the spread of gadgets, computer games and just technologies among children. Nowadays they prefer to stay in front of the computer for hours playing with friends online,

while

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their parents,

for example

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, spent their whole childhood actively playing outside because of a lack of gadgets,

therefore

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such

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childhood was much healthier. From my point of view, it is very difficult to solve, because every year we face new opportunities to make life easier and less active,

for instance

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, COVID restrictions in 2019 and

then

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the rapid development of online services and delivery.

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, the only possibility is more responsible and accurate parents’ attitude to upbringing. It is really important to show a healthy and sporty lifestyle because only personal control for each child can minimize the number of children suffering from obesity. In conclusion, I would like to remind you of the importance of the problem of children’s overweight these days because of many factors. Unfortunately, it is difficult to influence it

overall

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, but each family can control children’s lives and decrease the risks of the problem.

Submitted by ddoiron on Thu Dec 07 2023

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task achievement

Your response to the prompt shows a fair level of understanding, but it could be improved by more thoroughly addressing both parts of the question, specifically the solutions. Make sure your essay contains a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each covering different aspects of the topic clearly and comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The essay has some organization, but the ideas could be arranged more logically and cohesively. Use a range of cohesive devices to help structure the essay and connect ideas. Try to include a topic sentence at the beginning of each body paragraph to clearly outline the main idea.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?