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Writing Samples
Band 7

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping center or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #center #mall #development
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Nowadays,shopping is an essential part of our lives,some individuals want to purchase in huge and massive malls
instead
 of a local market or domestic shop ,Large Shopping malls have been opened at a wide range resulting in the closure of some local markets.
This
 action resulted in attracting a vast number of people towards the malls, In my opinion, I think
this
 is a positive improvement for all the customers. In
this
 essay,I will discuss both pros and cons in the following paragraphs . On the one hand, there are more benefits and advantages for buyers,
as well as
 the sellers,
besides
, shopping centres,
as well as
 the sellers,
besides
, shopping centres, offer huge facilities for every folk,
for instance
:if a person wants to purchase different products
such
 as garments ,electronics,food,they will have various option that they can choose from the best,
additionally
,every good available in high quality and attractive which are
also
 affordable and get benefits out of it,
further
,shopping centre have enough parking space that it is more convenient and comfortable for consumers .
On the other hand
,first and foremost,local shops
for example
 : groceries, bakeries, and cafes which are handled by natives are most effective and beneficial for naiberhoods when they need to have access immediately,
moreover
, sometimes,they offer domestic products which are more healthy
such
 as organic chicken ,eggs ,ducks,organic vegetables and so on,
also
 buying from residential places help to market to bring money to the region and it leads to development in local places. In conclusion,
although
,these days people tend to buy from large shopping
instead
 of shopping in the local bazaar ,since more reasons
such
 as not enough space for parking,they don't have to choose products from various options etc,In my opinion , the number of plazas has been increasing rapidly in the recent years .
Submitted by pardisghobadi on

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coherence cohesion
To improve, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one to the next. Linking devices, like 'furthermore', 'however', and 'on the other hand', can help guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Clearly distinguish between your arguments for and against the issue in separate paragraphs. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Remember to fully develop each main point. Provide more examples and explanations to support your ideas.
task achievement
You presented both positive and negative sides of the issue, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, guiding the reader through the beginning and end of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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