Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

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In
this
contemporary era, metro city life is more demanding in terms of living standards, job opportunities and more exposure.
However
, there are numerous obstacles that individuals are facing in their survival in big
cities
. I will elaborate on the reasons and actions required by authorities to turn
this
serious scenario into exciting ways to survive
besides
living in urban
areas
in subsequent paragraphs.
Cities
life is more challenging
due to
myriad reasons. One could be pollution,
cities
are mostly covered with many industrial
areas
which ultimately affects the purity of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. Unfortunately, residents will suffer many diseases and it
also
deteriorates the health of people, who are already having health-related problems like asthma. These patients need to have pure air for their quality of life.
Moreover
, traffic can be another reason a big problem
occurring
Wrong verb form
occurs
show examples
the way of city residents.
This
leads to delays in the daily routine of individuals
instead
they can utilise that spare time in other curricular activities like spending time with family and joining any health-related activities.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
has the potential to turn the circumstance into any situation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the urban
areas
with adequate actions. They should use the rural
areas
for industrial building. It does not solely solve the problem of housing in big
cities
but creates job opportunities for those living in backward locations.
Apart from
this
, they need to come across the idea of
skyscraper
Add an article
a skyscraper
the skyscraper
show examples
with many facilities located under one roof.
For example
, In 2020, there is a Rome city in Italy, authorities
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
with an idea to build residential buildings within a park. These innovations provide green spaces to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals as they do not need to travel outside their living
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
discussing the issues people are having in big
cities
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offers potential advantages like exposure to different cultures and living
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
. Big concerns always require government attention to solve with immediate actions
Submitted by bajwaraman415 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that examples provided are more specific and detailed to effectively support your main points. For instance, use statistical data or real-life instances where cities have improved the quality of life and how.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, enhancing clarity and coherence could benefit from linking phrases or transitional sentences between paragraphs. Consider using more signaling words like 'Firstly,' 'Consequently,' etc., to improve logical flow.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction that outlines the main topics of discussion and a conclusion that succinctly wraps up the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question prompt, providing reasonable explanations and suggestions, thus meeting the requirements for task response.
supported main points
The main points are supported with examples and explanations, making the essay informative and relevant.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolitan
  • Overpopulation
  • Commuting
  • Infrastructure
  • Cost of living
  • Pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Public services
  • Mental health
  • Work-life balance
  • Quality of life
  • Social cohesion
  • Crime prevention
  • Sustainability
  • Urban planning
  • Recreational areas
  • Public transportation
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