Investor are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do yo agree with this statement? Give reason and include any relevant example based on your own knowlegde.

Most people think that
doctors
are more essential than
investors
, but I think both of them are equally important because we need
investors
to develop our
country
, and
doctors
are needed to keep our health.
To begin
with,
doctors
are important professions that cannot change with other professions. Sick people get some medicine receipts from
doctors
, and
then
they recover from their disease.
Doctors
also
provide vaccines to prevent some diseases.
Moreover
,
doctors
can handle a nation’s situation from pandemics that suddenly come into the world.
For example
, in COVID-19, which happened in 2019, many people were infected and died.
Doctors
played the biggest part in
this
situation. They checked, took care
, and
Change preposition
of, and
show examples
gave medicine
as well as
vaccines. Because of that,
doctors
helped to decrease the number of deaths by around two years.
On the other hand
,
investors
have many benefits for the
country
, especially when the
country
has a pandemic case and there are no
investors
who invest in the
country
. The
government
is dealing with difficult, phenomenal situations.
Investors
have relations with the
government
because they want to invest in some companies in
this
country
, but they should have permission from
this
country
. They
also
pay some taxes to the
government
. With taxes, the
government
can build and reconstruct public facilities.
For instance
, the
government
should build and rebuild more healthy facilities in the area, which has many COVID-19 cases. It
also
improves the equipment that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors
need to cure COVID-19 patients,
such
as sterilisation tools, facemasks, hand sanitisers, and personal protective equipment (PPE). In conclusion,
doctors
can keep nations healthy, but they need
investors
to invest in public facilities (hospitals) to update their equipment. The
government
also
needs inventors because they contribute to expanding the
country
.
Submitted by muhammadluthfidzulfikar on

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coherence cohesion
You have presented the basic structure of an essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to enhance the quality of your writing, ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a single main idea with well-developed supporting details. Transition use should be smooth.
task achievement
While the response completes the task, it could be further improved by ensuring a more thorough and clear understanding of the question. Address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and provide more pertinent examples to support your points.

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