It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, more and more
people
struggle to save for the future. I strongly believe that everyone, with no exceptions, should have a backup of additional money for any
further
expenses. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on
this
subject.
To begin
with,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation should not be fully dependent on
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
. Some have a difficult situation in their house. They do not have enough money for basic needs. They are barely able to pay off bills and do not have any financial security.
Therefore
, children from
such
a house should take care of their own future. It is a better solution to start saving from a very young age rather than not having any money at the beginning of an adult life.
Secondly
, I
opt
Verb problem
think
show examples
that savings are important not only for young, but
also
for older
people
. No matter if we are retired or in our twenties, we constantly experience emergencies.
For instance
, we may get sick and need an expensive treatment. Health is the most relevant thing for each human.
However
, many do not save for it.
For example
, some older
people
die in pain just because they cannot afford medical help. If
people
do not save for their future, they will pay the price by decreasing the comfort of their lives.
To sum up
, I certainly agree that all of us should think about the upcoming times. If we think of it, we will prevent difficult situations namely, poverty at a young age and pain connected with some health issues.
Submitted by Aga on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the arguments. Consider adding statistics or real-life examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a cohesive flow of ideas.
task achievement
Clarify your explanations by expanding on your points and justifying them with reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main argument.
task achievement
The response is complete and addresses the prompt effectively, providing a thoughtful stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically structures the points, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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