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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There is no doubt that the evolution of technology has affected every aspect of our lives, while some would argue that this development has made people’s lives harder. I believe that it has actually eased our life in many forms.

#doubt #evolution #technology #aspect #lives #development #people’s #life #forms
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On the one hand, those who argue that starting from the technological revolution back in the nineteenth century, life has become more complex may present a good point.
This
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 is because that development was made to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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production in order to meet the excessive need for resources in the world war.
For instance
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, countries have used their supremacy in that field to present the world with new destructive weapons
such
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 as nuclear bombs that have killed lives, destroyed homes, and changed destinies forever.
However
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, if we
limited
Wrong verb form
limit
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 the growth of technology in certain fields, we might be able to access a more peaceful and easier life.
On the other hand
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, modern technology has actually made our lives much easier in many forms, as it has simplified various tasks that were looked to with extreme difficulty. To clarify,
whereas
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 in the past harvesting used to require great manual effort from farmers, which eventually made it a task that requires a lot of time and effort, nowadays there are special machines that take care of these tasks, performing them more delicately and professionally.
Moreover
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, if we stopped using these modern technological applications, we would waste a lot of time, money, and human resources that could make a greater achievement
elsewhere
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. In conclusion,
while
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 certain ways of using technology have ruined the lives of millions of people by equipping usurping countries with weapons, I believe that using it properly has improved the
overall
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 quality of life by simplifying a lot of jobs.
Submitted by m.mahmoud.2005 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, particularly in the section discussing the negative impacts of technology. Examples can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all main ideas are thoroughly developed and clearly linked to the topic under discussion. Further explanation of points about the evolution of technology would improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph flows smoothly, with clear transitions between ideas that enhance the readability and comprehension of your essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents a balanced view of the effects of technology, discussing both negative and positive impacts.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, setting the stage for the argument and then summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay with well-organized paragraphs that focus on different aspects of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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