IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table chart depicts that information about expenditure consumers on food, clothes, and leisure in five countries Spain, Turkey, Ireland, Sweden, and Italy in 2002.

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The
given
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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table chart gives information about how
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending

It seems that spendings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, clothes ,and leisure
were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

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consumed in specific five countries in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is noticeable that residents in five nations have used the part of
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, beverages and tobacco the most
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 other parts were not preferred compared with former. In detail,
acoording
Correct your spelling
according

If you don’t want acoording to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to the statistical data for
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2002,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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32
percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 of
turkish
Change the capitalization
Turkish

If you don’t want turkish to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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 people
consumed
Correct pronoun usage
consumed it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, recording the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The second largest figure was in
lreland
Correct your spelling
Ireland

If you don’t want lreland to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

at 28%, even though the rest of the three countries belonged to Italy, Spain, and Sweden were had at 16%, 18% and 15%, respectively.
Rgarding
Correct your spelling
Regarding

If you don’t want Rgarding to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the remaining information in 2002, the second biggest
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was for clothing and footwear. Unlike the mentioned
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the three nations which accounted for consuming
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 less tended to be greater than Ireland and Turkey, written with 9%, 6%, and 5%, respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
percentage
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of leisure and education in Turkey showed the largest level at 4%, including
bigger
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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at least double.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • consumer spending
  • cultural priorities
  • economic conditions
  • disposable income
  • standard of living
  • work-life balance
  • proportion of spending
  • cultural preferences
  • comparison of spending
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