IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measure can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give our opinion

#activities #effects #plant #species #people #measure #situation
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Many people believe that the natural environment can be reversed.
While
,
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apply
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 others think that it's no longer possible
due to
man made
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man-made
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 destruction
created
Wrong verb form
creating
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 opposite impact on flora and fauna. In
this
 essay, I will examine both perspectives and will provide why
this
 is happening
as well as
 what
should
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apply
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the government can do about
this
 disaster. On the one hand, in agricultural
aspects
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aspects,
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man
made
Verb problem
caused
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 a vast amount of loss toward
to
Change preposition
apply
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the natural environment. The main reason behind
this
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 extend many agricultural businesses.
For instance
, many farmers cut down forests to expand their land for farming
as a result
, greenery and wildlife
having
Verb problem
are in
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 danger because of
human made
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human-made
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catastrophe
Fix the agreement mistake
catastrophes
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.
On the other hand
, those who still believe that there will be always a way to invert the ecosystem. To do
this
, the government should make rules and regulations to prevent wilderness from extinction.
For example
, a country named the United States used their law enforcement to protect flora and fauna from
man made
Add a hyphen
man-made
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 devastation. Because of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 rules and
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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regulation
Add a comma
regulation,
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 the residents of
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States can't cut down forests to expand their farms.
Hence
,
there
Replace the word
their
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 natural surroundings started to improve. In conclusion, those who believe that there will be no possible solution for
this
man made
Add a hyphen
man-made
show examples
 destruction, because they lost their faith by looking at present activities.
However
, many individuals still trust that they can protect their ecosystem by protecting flora and fauna and to protect
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 species governments should make policies,
therefore
, because of restrictions people will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to destroy the wildness. So, the nature can be inverted.
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. The examples should closely relate to the points you are making and strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the arguments in the body paragraphs could benefit from more logical structuring. Consider consistently aligning each paragraph with a clear main idea and supporting it with relevant details.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic and includes your personal opinion, which is central to discussing the topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively and leaves the reader with a summary of the ideas.
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