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Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#minutes #television #free-time #people
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With the widespread availability of
television
, it has become a dominant source of entertainment in many
people
's lives.
While
television
 offers relaxation and enjoyment, excessive viewing can have negative consequences,
such
 as promoting laziness and reducing social interactions. I completely agree with
this
 statement for several reasons.
Firstly
, spending too much
time
 watching
television
 can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and a lack of productivity.
People
 often become engrossed in shows, movies, or series, which can make them neglect important tasks or responsibilities.
For instance
, binge-watching a TV series may result in skipping exercise, delaying household chores, or even losing focus on professional or academic commitments. Over
time
,
this
 habit fosters laziness, as individuals prioritize screen
time
 over more active or meaningful activities.
Secondly
, excessive
television
 consumption can isolate
people
 from their social circles. When individuals dedicate most of their free
time
 to watching TV, they may miss opportunities to interact with family, friends, or colleagues.
For example
,
instead
 of going out with friends or attending social events, someone who is overly attached to
television
 might prefer staying at home to watch their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 shows.
This
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 not only reduces social connections but can
also
 lead to feelings of loneliness and a diminished sense of community. In conclusion,
while
television
 can be an enjoyable way to relax, overindulgence in screen
time
 can make
people
 lazy and hinder their ability to socialize effectively. To strike a balance, individuals should limit their TV
time
 and allocate more energy to active, engaging, and social activities.
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task achievement
Your task response is strong, as you have answered the question directly and clearly. However, you can further enhance your argument by considering counterarguments or acknowledging different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a few more transitional phrases to further link your ideas smoothly, ensuring the essay flows seamlessly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. You have structured your argument effectively, which helps convey your message convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a strong start and a concise closure to your essay. This enhances the overall coherence of your work.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument and makes it more relatable to the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Cognitive laziness
  • Social interaction
  • Isolation
  • Face-to-face
  • Mentally stimulating
  • Catalyst for social gatherings
  • Educational content
  • Intellectual growth
  • Physical laziness
What to do next:
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