IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Both men and women these days work full -time, so its logical for them to share household chores equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, working full-
time
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 is common for
both
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 genders.
Therefore
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,
both
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 should
similarly
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 do their domestic responsibilities I strongly believe that men and women must contribute equally to household chores which can lead
firstly
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, to utilize their remaining
time
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 in other personal or professional work and
secondly
Linking Words
, not getting more exhausted, stressed and weak. On the one hand,
both
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 men and women contributing equally can give them enough
time
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 to spend in personal or professional jobs. Doing house duties equally on
time
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, allows them to utilize their remaining
time
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 for fun activities or take a rest.
Furthermore
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, they can add on more skilful courses to stay updated.
As a result
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, it could elevate their white-collar profile
further
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 in future.
For instance
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, my newly married friend has a good mutual understanding with his wife about the house works which gives them more
time
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 to utilize it.
On the other hand
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, equally contributing to housework
both
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 men and women will not feel more fatigued, exhausted and weak.
Therefore
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, having equal understanding can make them happy and not too stressed after the house job is done.
As a result
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, the bond relationship between married couples gets stronger every day.
For instance
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, The study of researchers revealed that
both
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 genders become stress-free, and less exhausted and build mutual understanding in relationships which results in healthy married life.
To conclude
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,
While
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 working full-
time
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 couples should equally do housework.
This
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 can lead to spending their free
time
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 on other work and
also
Linking Words
, staying away from stress, and fatigue.

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Task Response
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your main idea. You can restate the topic in your own words to make it clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in addition'. This will strengthen the flow of your essay.
Task Response
Try to give more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Some sentences are a bit unclear or long, which can confuse the reader.
Task Response
You have a clear opinion on the topic and support it with reasons.
Task Response
Your ideas about reducing stress and improving relationships are relevant and insightful.
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