IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people say that space tourism will be developed in the future. What do you think space travel is positive or negative a development?

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Due to
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 the development of technology and science, it would be feasible for
people
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 to
travel
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 to the universe in the years to come.
Although
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 there are some benefits of
space
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travel
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, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks. The main advantage of the trend toward
space
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tourism
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 is that it provides excitement and adventure to
people
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. Customers may have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to unravel the complex mysteries of the cosmos. By exploring the
space
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,
people
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 can broaden their knowledge and experience with regard to the universe.
Furthermore
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,
space
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travel
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 could greatly contribute to the advancement of
space
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 science. With the increased interest and high participation rate, a great deal of money and a wide range of resources could be invested in
space
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tourism
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. Despite the positives mentioned above, I believe that
space
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travel
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contains
Verb problem
has
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 various downsides.
Firstly
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, a huge number of
launching
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launches
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 for
space
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tourism
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 can cause environmental pollution.
Space
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 shuttles release great quantities of exhaust fumes into the surroundings, and the ozone layer could be seriously damaged, accelerating global warming.
Secondly
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,
this
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 type of
travel
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 will
costs
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cost
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 an enormous amount of money, which might be better spent on other purposes.
For example
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,
such
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 a big sum of money can be used for
people
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 who suffer from war, poverty, famine and disease.
Finally
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,
space
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travel
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 is likely to be very dangerous. Boarding a
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space craft
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
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 and travelling through the universe tend to include a variety of potential risks,
such
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 as unexpected accidents and emergency situations. In conclusion,
while
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 I recognize the possible advantages of
space
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tourism
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, I consider it to be a negative development
overall
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.

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coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is good, but there can be some improvement. You have established your standpoint, introduced supporting ideas, and logically connected them. However, there were a few areas where the linking of ideas could have been smoother.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear introduction and conclusion to your essay, which is excellent. You outlined the topic at the start and summarized your opinion at the end, which is exactly what examiners are looking for.
supported main points
Your main points are supported by reasons and examples. However, there is some room for deeper exploration and justification of some points, which can make your argument more convincing.
complete response
You have completely addressed all parts of the task, and your position on space travel is clear throughout the essay. Keep up this level of complete response in your essays.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas on space travel are well-thought-out and relevant. However, the comprehensibility of your ideas can be enhanced with better explained and expanded ideas.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant and specific examples which support your ideas. Maintaining this ability to illustrate your points in a concrete way will be beneficial to your writing skills in general.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancement in technology
  • Scientific knowledge
  • Economic benefits
  • Environmental impact
  • Inequality
  • Regulation
  • Sustainable practices
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