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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate about whether
parents
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 or
schools
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 are more responsible for teaching
children
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 how to be good members of society. Some people argue that
parents
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 should take the lead in
this
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,
while
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 others believe that
schools
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 provide the best environment for learning these values. In my opinion, both play essential roles, though the balance of responsibility may depend on the child's age and stage of development. On one hand,
parents
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 are the first teachers and have a significant influence on their
children
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's early upbringing. They are the ones who
instill
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instil
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 fundamental values
such
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 as respect, responsibility, and kindness.
For instance
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, lessons about sharing and honesty are often taught in the home environment.
Additionally
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,
parents
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 can closely observe their
children
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's
behavior
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behaviour
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 and offer guidance tailored to their needs, creating a more personalized learning experience.
However
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,
i
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I
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 believe that
schools
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 might be better at fostering social skills, which is very important for
the
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apply
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youngsters.
Schools
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 offer a more structured environment for
children
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 to learn how to interact with others. In school,
children
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 are exposed to a wide range of peers, allowing them to develop important social skills
such
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 as teamwork, empathy, and communication.
Moreover
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, school curriculums often include subjects that emphasize civic responsibility and social awareness, which can help shape
children
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’s understanding of their role in society. In conclusion, the joint effort of both
parents
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 and
schools
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 is necessary for the full development of a child’s ability to contribute positively to society.
Parents
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 provide the foundation,
while
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schools
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 offer opportunities for
children
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 to practice these values in a broader social context.

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task achievement
Expand on the argument that parents can offer personalized guidance. This can be done by adding examples of personalized strategies parents might use, like setting household rules or family discussions.
task achievement
Try including more specific examples of how schools teach values, such as describing specific classroom activities or programs.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the transition between paragraphs to improve the flow. For instance, linking the school's role directly to how it complements parental teaching could emphasize the cohesive effort.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives, acknowledging the roles of both parents and schools in a child's social education.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion effectively frame and summarize the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, moving smoothly from one viewpoint to the other and then to your own opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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