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Writing Samples
Band 7

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of IT outweigh the disadvantages?

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 has become more of a buzzword in recent times. Many might believe that we are losing our path by relying too hard on technology,
While
 others believe
this
 is our path of redemption. I believe the positives completely outweigh the negatives, But I will discuss both sides. IT advancements have led to a lot of time savings throughout our lives. In older days it might have taken you weeks to send a letter to your destination. Now it would take mere seconds to achieve the same thing with even better results. It might have taken you months to gather data about a specific topic before and now it takes no more than a few minutes to ask artificial intelligence to get even more than you previously desired. That being said,
This
 has resulted in us relying more and more on technological advancements.
As a result
, IT has made us more lazy. When you can ask AI any question, Why would one even try to solve any problem by themselves? When you can do cross-continental things together,
Then
 why would one decide to get
together with
 their friends? These little things would make us weaker and in the long run, lethargic. All in all,
While
 there are some issues with the
further
 development of information technology, These are rudimentary problems and can be solved with little amount of effort by individuals. In the end, all we strive for is to advance and we have to rely on our previous accomplishments to break our current limits.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are good, but consider making your body paragraphs more distinct by focusing each on a specific point.
Content Balance
When discussing advantages and disadvantages, ensure to provide equal emphasis to both sides or clearly justify why one side is outweighed by the other. Your essay leans towards the advantages without fully exploring the disadvantages.
Example Usage
Use examples to support your points. While you mentioned the efficiency of IT in communication and data gathering, including specific, real-world examples could strengthen your argument.
Paragraph Organization
Make sure your paragraphs are well-organized and each starts with a topic sentence. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
Grammar and Syntax
Work on punctuation and sentence structure to enhance readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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