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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the past, the role of a teacher was to provide information. Today, students have access to a lot of information. There is, therefore, no role for teacher in modern education. Do you agree or disagree?

#role #teacher #information #students #access #education
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In the past,
teachers
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 played a crucial role in providing
information
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 to
students
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.
However
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, with advancements in technology,
students
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 can now
access
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 vast amounts of
information
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 easily. Despite
this
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, I completely disagree with the idea that
teachers
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 no longer have a role in modern education for several reasons. On the one hand, allowing
students
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 to
access
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information
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 online without proper guidance from
teachers
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 can lead to several risks.
For instance
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,
students
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 may encounter inappropriate content on certain websites,
such
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 as videos promoting violence or explicit material. Without the maturity to critically evaluate
such
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 content,
students
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 might imitate harmful actions, leading to
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
 and potentially damaging their mental health.
Teachers
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 serve as essential guides to help
students
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 navigate the vast amount of
information
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 available and ensure they
access
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 age-appropriate and educational resources.
On the other hand
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,
although
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students
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 have
access
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 to abundant
information
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, they often lack the experience and skills needed to interpret and apply it effectively.
Teachers
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 bring years of expertise in their fields and can help
students
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 identify relevant and reliable
information
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.
For example
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,
teachers
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 can provide effective methods for solving problems or tackling exercises, fostering better understanding and performance in class.
This
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 guidance not only enhances
students
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’ academic achievements but
also
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 builds critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which are essential for their future. In conclusion,
while
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students
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 today can easily
access
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information
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 online,
teachers
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 remain indispensable in modern education. They provide the necessary guidance, filter useful
information
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, and help
students
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 develop the skills they need to succeed academically and socially.
Submitted by nguyennguyet.vcu on

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical transitions between sentences to improve essay flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task and presents a clear position on the topic.
task achievement
The main points are well-explained and supported with relevant ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a comprehensive overview and summary.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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