Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think that there are better ways to reduce crime.

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Many

people

Use synonyms

believe that giving longer

prison

Use synonyms

sentence

Fix the agreement mistake

sentences

show examples

is the greatest way to decrease

Use synonyms

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

rate.

However

Linking Words

, other

people

Use synonyms

think that there are other ways to reduce

crime

Use synonyms

. I believe that the best way is to improve social education lessons at schools. Some individuals

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

that if the government charges longer

prison

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sentences the number of

people

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who

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

commit

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crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

would reduce. Because

people

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freedoon

Correct your spelling

freedom

is their the most valuable thing. Taking their independence and giving them

linited

Correct your spelling

limited

unlimited

access to

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

might be effective. And more

people

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who spend their most of time in

prison

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give them

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to comprehend the importance of human life.

For example

Linking Words

, most

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apply

show examples

prisoners

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

that they feel deep remorse and understand the consequences of their behavior.

Hence

Linking Words

, spending twenty to thirty years

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show examples

prison

Use synonyms

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to behave themselves.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

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believe that there are better ways

Change preposition

apply

show examples

assists

Wrong verb form

assist

show examples

psychologists at

school

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and workplace. Many criminals have terrible psychological conditions whether it comes

for

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from

show examples

family or genetically. Solving

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

problems

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by giving them therapy may be influential.

For example

Linking Words

, if the student has some social

problems

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like bullying at

school

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that person starts to have several

problems

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such

Linking Words

as anxiety, depression or other disorders. And,

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

problems

Use synonyms

isolate

people

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from their environment. In the future

people

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with

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of issues could be potential

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

However

Linking Words

, if

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

take care of them it will lead

Change preposition

to the

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

huge decrease. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

lengthen

Wrong verb form

lengthening

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

sentences is the best way to reduce

crime

Use synonyms

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

believe that there are better ways like

improvement

Add an article

an improvement

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

psychology department might be more helpful. From my viewpoint, increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

social education lessons by adding different types of social awareness activity might decrease the

crime

Use synonyms

rate.

egomammedThu Dec 12 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, elaborate further on how social education can specifically reduce crime. This would make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for improved coherence. Some ideas seem disconnected.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition in sentence structures. For example, strive for variety in ways to present your arguments or explanations.

task achievement

Good use of examples to emphasize the argument, particularly regarding the potential impact of social and psychological interventions.

coherence cohesion

Introduction effectively introduces both perspectives and clearly states the writer's position.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion encapsulates the discussion well and restates the personal viewpoint clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think that there are better ways to reduce crime.

Your opinion

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