Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, think that there are better ways to reduce crime.
Many
people
believe that giving longer Use synonyms
prison
Use synonyms
sentence
is the greatest way to decrease Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
Use synonyms
crime
rate. Add an article
the crime
However
, other Linking Words
people
think that there are other ways to reduce Use synonyms
crime
. I believe that the best way is to improve social education lessons at schools.
Some individuals Use synonyms
says
that if the government charges longer Change the verb form
say
prison
sentences the number of Use synonyms
people
who Use synonyms
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
commit
Use synonyms
crime
would reduce. Because Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
people
's Use synonyms
freedoon
is their the most valuable thing. Taking their independence and giving them Correct your spelling
freedom
linited
access to Correct your spelling
limited
unlimited
everthing
might be effective. And more Correct your spelling
everything
people
who spend their most of time in Use synonyms
prison
give them Use synonyms
chance
to comprehend the importance of human life. Correct article usage
a chance
For example
, most Linking Words
of
prisoners Change preposition
apply
says
that they feel deep remorse and understand the consequences of their behavior. Change the verb form
say
Hence
, spending twenty to thirty years Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
prison
Use synonyms
encourage
them to behave themselves.
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
believe that there are better ways Use synonyms
like
to Change preposition
apply
assists
psychologists at Wrong verb form
assist
school
and workplace. Many criminals have terrible psychological conditions whether it comes Use synonyms
for
family or genetically. Solving Change preposition
from
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
problems
by giving them therapy may be influential. Use synonyms
For example
, if the student has some social Linking Words
problems
like bullying at Use synonyms
school
that person starts to have several Use synonyms
problems
, Use synonyms
such
as anxiety, depression or other disorders. And, Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
problems
isolate Use synonyms
people
from their environment. In the future Use synonyms
people
with Use synonyms
these kind
of issues could be potential Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
criminal
. Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
However
, if Linking Words
Use synonyms
school
take care of them it will lead Fix the agreement mistake
schools
Change preposition
to the
the
huge decrease.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a
while
some Linking Words
people
believe that Use synonyms
lengthen
Wrong verb form
lengthening
prison
sentences is the best way to reduce Use synonyms
crime
, Use synonyms
other
believe that there are better ways like Fix the agreement mistake
others
improvement
Add an article
an improvement
at
Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
school
psychology department might be more helpful. From my viewpoint, increasing Correct article usage
the school
at
social education lessons by adding different types of social awareness activity might decrease the Change preposition
apply
crime
rate.Use synonyms
Submitted by egomammed on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, elaborate further on how social education can specifically reduce crime. This would make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for improved coherence. Some ideas seem disconnected.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition in sentence structures. For example, strive for variety in ways to present your arguments or explanations.
task achievement
Good use of examples to emphasize the argument, particularly regarding the potential impact of social and psychological interventions.
coherence cohesion
Introduction effectively introduces both perspectives and clearly states the writer's position.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion encapsulates the discussion well and restates the personal viewpoint clearly.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?