People nowadays sleep less than they used to be in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effect on individuals and people around them?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is why
people
sleep less than they used to in the past. It’s becoming Use synonyms
more
common problem which is found in the majority of the population. There are some reasons why Add an article
a more
people
in our generation Use synonyms
have
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
sleep and in my Change preposition
apply
opinion
these disputes should be solved.
One of the main causes is Add a comma
opinion,
a
smartphone addiction. Increased screen Remove the article
apply
time
during your day, especially before bedtime has a bad effect on your sleep cycle. Social media and Use synonyms
stream
platforms are considered to be addictive things. Spending your Wrong verb form
streaming
time
on scrolling social media enhances your obsession with Use synonyms
internet
. The second cause Add an article
the internet
is
might be Unnecessary verb
apply
a
bad Remove the article
apply
time
management. If you are not able to manage your Use synonyms
time
properly and you usually procrastinate, sleeping less is maybe about you. When someone is not well-organised, it is quite difficult for him to distribute his responsibilities over Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
As a
Linking Words
result
it badly reflects on your behaviour and health Add a comma
result,
at
Change preposition
apply
all
which may lead to chronic insomnia and so on.
Correct determiner usage
apply
Nevertheless
why Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
tend to think that Add a missing verb
do people
past
generation was more organised in sleep than us? Probably improvement of new technologies has a huge influence on Correct article usage
the past
people
’s lives. In the past, Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
har
had a lot of free Correct your spelling
had
time
before Use synonyms
first
smartphones were invented. It Correct article usage
the first
let
them Wrong verb form
lets
to
start and end their work Change the verb form
apply
on
the exact Change preposition
at
time
. The absence of gadgets gave them an opportunity to use their Use synonyms
time
effectively.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
people
today sleep less because of things like spending too much Use synonyms
time
on smartphones, poor Use synonyms
time
management, and the impact of modern technology. Unlike past generations, who had fewer distractions, we are surrounded by gadgets that make it harder to stick to healthy routines. To fix Use synonyms
this
, we need to spend less Linking Words
time
online, manage our Use synonyms
time
better, and build healthier habits. By doing Use synonyms
this
, we can improve our sleep and Linking Words
overall
health.Linking Words
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task achievement
Expand on the effects of sleep deprivation on individuals and people around them by including more specific examples or studies. This will enhance the depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, consider enhancing transitions between points to make the argument flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the long-term effects of poor time management and smartphone addiction on sleep. This could strengthen your response by providing a broader analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a solid introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You identified relevant reasons why people sleep less today and linked them effectively to modern technology.
task achievement
The essay discusses both causes and potential solutions, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.