Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Music
is the best way of gathering Use synonyms
people
from different nations and ages closely. Use synonyms
This
essay completely agrees with Linking Words
this
view because Linking Words
music
has a great impact on Use synonyms
people
’s feelings and Use synonyms
music
can often gather different Use synonyms
people
to follow and listen to Use synonyms
one
musician or singer.
Use synonyms
Music
could be a perfect method of bringing Use synonyms
people
together from different countries and ages because Use synonyms
music
influences human emotions. Listening to good lyrics or instrumental Use synonyms
music
spreads happiness and joy which makes Use synonyms
people
extremely close to each other. Use synonyms
This
way using Linking Words
music
in their happiest moments Use synonyms
such
as weddings, parties and even in public places ( restaurants, cafes, …..etc). Linking Words
For instance
, scientists from Oxford University, in 2018, found that Linking Words
music
sends certain frequency weaves to human brains that increase adrenaline levels which makes Use synonyms
people
feel more happy and relaxed.
Use synonyms
However
, another reason why Linking Words
music
is the best way of bringing Use synonyms
people
together is that Use synonyms
music
can create a whole community following the same Use synonyms
person
or Use synonyms
one
approach. Many Use synonyms
people
are like the same Use synonyms
person
and being fans they attend many concerts and events for that Use synonyms
person
and make a group on social media only for that Use synonyms
one
. Use synonyms
For example
, Michael Jackson has 70 billion views on Linking Words
one
of his songs and Use synonyms
people
more than that number attended his concerts from different countries.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
music
is the main key to bringing all humanity together because it has a huge effect on human feelings and can create big fans for Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
person
, Use synonyms
people
from different types of ages and countries gather, in order to support that musical. I, Use synonyms
therefore
, believe that Linking Words
music
is a fantastic method of bringing Use synonyms
people
together.Use synonyms
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on
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task achievement
In your introduction, consider making the thesis statement more concise and clearer. For example, state explicitly that music transcends cultural and age boundaries by connecting people through emotions and fan communities.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your points in each paragraph are directly linked to the main argument presented in the introduction. Consider revisiting the topic sentences to strengthen this link.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay introduces the topic well and provides a clear conclusion that reinforces the arguments you've made.
supported main points
The examples provided, particularly about Michael Jackson, effectively support the idea that music connects people across cultures and ages.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?