Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music

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is the best way of gathering

people

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from different nations and ages closely.

This

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essay completely agrees with

this

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view because

music

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has a great impact on

people

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’s feelings and

music

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can often gather different

people

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to follow and listen to

one

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musician or singer.

Music

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could be a perfect method of bringing

people

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together from different countries and ages because

music

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influences human emotions. Listening to good lyrics or instrumental

music

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spreads happiness and joy which makes

people

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extremely close to each other.

This

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way using

music

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in their happiest moments

such

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as weddings, parties and even in public places ( restaurants, cafes, …..etc).

For instance

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, scientists from Oxford University, in 2018, found that

music

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sends certain frequency weaves to human brains that increase adrenaline levels which makes

people

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feel more happy and relaxed.

However

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, another reason why

music

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is the best way of bringing

people

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together is that

music

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can create a whole community following the same

person

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one

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approach. Many

people

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are like the same

person

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and being fans they attend many concerts and events for that

person

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and make a group on social media only for that

one

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For example

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, Michael Jackson has 70 billion views on

one

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of his songs and

people

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more than that number attended his concerts from different countries. In conclusion,

music

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is the main key to bringing all humanity together because it has a huge effect on human feelings and can create big fans for

one

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person

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people

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from different types of ages and countries gather, in order to support that musical. I,

therefore

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, believe that

music

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is a fantastic method of bringing

people

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together.

ghazl.1998g

Dec 13, 2024

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task achievement

In your introduction, consider making the thesis statement more concise and clearer. For example, state explicitly that music transcends cultural and age boundaries by connecting people through emotions and fan communities.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your points in each paragraph are directly linked to the main argument presented in the introduction. Consider revisiting the topic sentences to strengthen this link.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay introduces the topic well and provides a clear conclusion that reinforces the arguments you've made.

supported main points

The examples provided, particularly about Michael Jackson, effectively support the idea that music connects people across cultures and ages.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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These days, many people do their jobs at home by teleworking. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this method?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the economic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

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