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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about students studying in six departments in an Australian university in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about students studying in six departments in an Australian university in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table
provide
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provides
show examples
 the
datas
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data
 about
students
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 who are studying in
Humanities
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,
education
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,
science
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,
physics
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 , IT and engineering in university in 2011 in
Australia
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 .
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 female
students
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 in
humanities
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,
education
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,
science
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 and
physics
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 make a large
propotion
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proportion
, IT and engineering are
choosen
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chosen
 with less percentage.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
tudents
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students
 who are first language not English and
born
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were born
show examples
 outside
Australia
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 choose to study
in
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apply
show examples
Science
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,
physics
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, IT and engineering, there are
less
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fewer
show examples
students
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 selecting
humanities
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 and
education
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. Female
students
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 select
humanities
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,
education
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,
science
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,
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physics
Correct word choice
and physics
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 account for 72%, 68%, 52%,
56
Correct word choice
and 56
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% respectively, female percentage for
humanites
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humanities
humanity
are
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is
show examples
 highest at 72%.
Students
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 who are females select It and engineering for a moderate rate at roughly 15%.
Students
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 who are first language
not
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, not
show examples
 English and
born
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were born
show examples
 outside
Australia
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 prefer to select 4 departments
such
Linking Words
 as
science
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,
physics
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, IT and engineering rather than
humanities
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 and
education
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. the proportion of
students
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 who are first language
not
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, not
show examples
 English choose
humanities
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 and
born
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were born
show examples
 outside
Australia
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 at the lowest
percent
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per cent
show examples
 12%, 14%
respecitively
Correct your spelling
respectively

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, humanities, education, science, physics, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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