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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As most spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

#part #adult #life #work #job #satisfaction #element #factors
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Since most people spend about one-third of their lives at
work
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, it is essential to consider the concept of
work
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 fulfilment. Achieving job satisfaction is crucial for mental health, it helps prevent stress and dissatisfaction. I believe there are several factors that significantly influence our well-being in relation to that, but in
this
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 essay, I will touch on two of them. On the one hand, we need to arrange a
work
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 and life balance and determine the boundaries between them to obtain better
work
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 performance.
According to
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 the statistics of the European Brain Research Institute, people who are students and regularly study or have a busy daily
work
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 schedule have to distribute their time, because without spending time with their relatives, either friends or family, not only that, but
also
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 lack
of
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apply
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comfortable and peaceful space for hanging around alone can damage their
work
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 productivity and can feel depressed. Meanwhile, there are a lot of opportunities,
such
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 as finding remote
work
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,
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apply
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 or applying to some jobs which has flexible working hours. The second vital factor is to pursue some chances for career development and
also
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, people who want to gain
work
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 satisfaction again need to qualify themselves by being involved in some skill-building programs and
such
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 platforms. As career advisers say they need to create a clear path for getting promotions and personal growth.
Although
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 they cannot improve their own skills and knowledge by themselves, they can participate in not only some workshops, and seminars about their field or maybe learn new skills about technological improvements, but
also
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, they can purchase online courses on the internet from highly-educated mentors. In conclusion, it is undeniable that sometimes we can feel ourselves in turmoil, but there are a lot of solutions to feel job fulfilment again,
such
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 as a
work
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-life balance, persuading for career promotions and ones which I did not emphasise. I firmly believe that
this
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 feeling has an important role in our well-being.
Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify some sentences where ideas may seem convoluted, ensuring a more seamless flow of thoughts. Some ideas appear dense, and simplifying them could improve comprehension for the reader.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to further reinforce your main points. Adding more relevant details or statistics could enhance the credibility of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point that ties back to the central topic of job satisfaction. This helps in maintaining a clear thematic structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and a concise conclusion. The conclusion succinctly recaps the main ideas, reinforcing the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents coherent ideas that follow a logical sequence, making it easy for the reader to follow the line of argumentation.
task achievement
You display a good understanding of the topic by addressing multiple facets of job satisfaction. This demonstrates a comprehensive approach to task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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