IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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These days, we are experiencing significant progress in many ways
such
 as
technology
 and
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
.
Therefore
, it can
illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
 a vision of having
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of
choices
.
Nevertheless
, some
people
 disagree with
this
 vision. In
this
 essay, I will analyse both views and express my own opinion. On the one hand, many groups believe they do not have
varied
Add an article
a varied
show examples
 range of decisions. In their views, it may
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 like
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we have lots of
choices
 but
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deep down the governments and media are controlling us.
For example
, nowadays,
due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
technology
, governments can observe every movement of
people
 through cameras.
Also
, observing our activities and
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 on social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 can
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 many personal things and can be used to limit our
choices
 in
such
 a way that we do not understand. When
this
 progress
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology
moreover
 may
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 us more options to choose
, in
Change preposition
from, in
show examples
 many countries
people
 can not have whatever they want because of poverty and
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
show examples
 economy, so they have to choose things which are suitable to their budget and
this
 shows
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
choices
.
On the other hand
, others think they have an enormous number of
choices
. The development of
technology
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 every individual more space to choose.
In other words
, we watch many
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 every day, which can help us to compare products and services to decide between them.
Furthermore
, the progress in transportation
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 easier.
For instance
, we do not need to be only
depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on our country's local products
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can easily have
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to other parts of the world.
People
 can order whatever they want from across the world and have it in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us varied
choices
.
To conclude
, some individuals may believe we do not have many
choices
 since authorities are observing
people
 more closely,
while
 others believe these days' developments give them plenty of
choices
. I personally believe, nowadays, humans have more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
choices
 than before.
Submitted by Mahshad on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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