IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to tell you about some significant items that were lost from the box. On 21 August, I bought a Cannon DSLR
camera
Use synonyms
 from the Inspire store in Sydney. The
camera
Use synonyms
 cost $645 and I paid for it in cash. When I arrived at the hotel at the Melbourne, I unboxed my
camera
Use synonyms
 which I purchased from the Inspire store and realised that the
camera
Use synonyms
 did not include the lens. The space in the box for the lens was empty. I am now in Indonesia and I do not to return to Sydney. I necessitate to obtain the missing part here. I hope you will take action to replace my part of the
camera
Use synonyms
 which has been lost. I would be very grateful if you could replace the missing part of the
camera
Use synonyms
. I look forward to hearing from you, Akbar Surya Basmallah

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide a clearer explanation of the specific items that are missing to strengthen your request.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single focus to enhance clarity. For example, separate the purchase details and the missing items into different paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing certain sentences for greater clarity and grammatical accuracy, such as 'I necessitate to obtain the missing part here.'
task achievement
You provided clear details about the camera and the store where you made the purchase, which helps establish the context.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing statement expresses anticipation for a response, which is a polite and appropriate way to conclude the letter.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local representative
  • important items missing
  • purchase details
  • model and brand
  • missing accessories
  • inconvenience
  • use to its full extent
  • urgent request
  • partial refund
  • alternative solution
  • exchange unit
  • correct the issue
  • look forward to your prompt response
What to do next:
Look at other essays: