IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The
pie
Use synonyms
 charts illustrate
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 average household spending
about
Change preposition
in about
show examples
 six categories between 1950 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that all sorts of
expenditures'
Change noun form
expenditures
show examples
 percentages increased during the given period except
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing and education. The
pie
Use synonyms
 of food takes place at the top of the list for spending,
while
Linking Words
 at the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 the highest spending was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people paid 72.1% of their household budget to
housing
Change the verb form
house
show examples
 in 1950, it is interestingly just 22% in 2010. The spending for providing food was 34% in 2010,
although
Linking Words
 it was 11.2% in the middle of the twentieth century. Meanwhile, the
pie
Use synonyms
 of health care on charts increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 2% and became 4.5% in 2010. Moving to the education's
pie
Use synonyms
 on the charts, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 declined as housing, and became 6.3%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the sixty years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, purchasing for transportation dropped
up
Change preposition
by
show examples
 about 5 times, and it became 14% in 2010.
Similarly
Linking Words
, other spending
also
Linking Words
 increased to 19.2% from 4.4%.
Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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