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Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more serious crimes seem to be committed each year. Some think that the death penalty is the best way to deal with this problem while other people think different measures are more likely to be successful. Discuss both options.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #people #measures #options
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In recent years, many cases of atrocities have been recorded,
while
 many
people
 think that imposing the
death
 sentence will solve the issues others have some reservations and want other solutions to deal with the growing problem.
However
, in my opinion, the better way to handle
this
 kind of problem is to seriously impose the
death
 penalty law.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives. Nowadays, crimes are rampant in our society. Killers are not afraid to kill other
people
. Because the authority does not have strict legislation for criminals if they commit a crime a direct punishment will be implemented.
As a result
, more and more citizens are becoming cruel.
Therefore
, imposing a serious law is what the government and authority need to do so that all the
people
 will respect it.
Furthermore
, if the state takes measures other than the
death
 penalty
this
 might create a bad image and
this
 will
further
 aggravate the problem of crimes.
People
 will not abide by the law because there is no serious punishment for it.
For instance
, a study from the Philippines noticed that if there are stricter laws, crime rates are
also
 lower. Because
people
 are afraid to be directly incarcerated and be punished to
death
. In conclusion, the
death
 penalty is the only solution to decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes in society.
This
 sends a message that every committed atrocity has a consequence and that includes
death
. In
this
 event only we can feel safe in the place where we live.
Submitted by LECORMOON88 on

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Task Achievement
Try to provide a balanced view by discussing both views clearly before stating your opinion. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your case.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have made a clear statement of your viewpoint, which is good for coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay structure, including the introduction and conclusion, is well-set, aligning with the task's requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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