Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

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With the advancement of
technology
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it created a debate among the
people
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. Not a few
people
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believe that modern
technology
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has brought
people
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closer,
while
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others argue the opposite.
This
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essay will explore and elucidate both viewpoints,
while
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in the end I will give my state of side. On
one
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hand, there has been a growing belief that the existence of modern
technology
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such
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as internet devices, video call
application
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and other form of
technology
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has brought
people
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closer with
one
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another.
This
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can be explained by the massive trend of using messanger
application
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that can help
people
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to communicate with each other
although
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in a totally different place.
For instance
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, the
application
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of WhatsApp consider as
one
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of the popular
application
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among the
people
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. Many individuals from around the world can communicate and keep in touch with their loved ones by using
this
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application
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.
Furthermore
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, lately, numerous applications that allow us to do a video call with other
people
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has been increase which help many
people
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who are not able to see their relatives still can see them through
technology
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.
Hence
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,
this
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might lead to a believe that modern
technology
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do brough
people
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together.
On the other hand
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, there are those who disagree with the first notion, arguing that it has driven the
people
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apart.
One
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key that supporting
this
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idea is the
technology
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that makes
people
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forget to sociliaze with other person. The fact of the matter is that nowadays,
although
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people
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live close to each other, because of the
technology
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, they prefer to spend their time with their own devices
instead
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socialize or communicating with other person.
For example
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, many young generations lately
instead
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of playing with their friends after school, they prefer to went straight to their bedroom and play some video games or scrolling through their phones. As a results,
this
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might likely lead to a social problems where it is hard for them to communicate and create a relationship between
one
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another.
Additionally
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, overly use
technology
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not only affect the social problems, but
also
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health problems
such
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as lack of vision
due to
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the extreme usage of devices. Based the explanation above, it seems to me that the existence of modern
technology
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surely affect positive and negative impact for the
people
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. The output of using modern
technology
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depend to the
people
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who used it. If they can wisely use the
technology
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, it will definitely benefited them. Meanwhile, if not, the social and health problem could significantly occur in their lives.
Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on

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grammar
Try to improve sentence structure and grammar usage to enhance readability and professionalism. Correct minor grammar errors, such as subject-verb agreement and word forms, to increase clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that all viewpoints are supported with strong, relevant examples. Consider elaborating more on the examples given to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases that guide readers through your arguments smoothly, such as 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' or 'As a result.'
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument and concludes with a personal viewpoint, showing a complete and balanced response.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses technology-related examples, which are relevant and specific to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the writer's viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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