IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show information concerning speed-camera use, together with statistics on road accidents, for the city of Melbourne.

The charts show information concerning speed-camera use, together with statistics on road accidents, for the city of Melbourne.
#show #information #speed-camera #statistics #road #accidents #city #melbourne
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The graphs
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 key information about statical analysis of road
accidents
Use synonyms
 and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of speed-camera
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
 in Melbourne from 2002 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne increased in numbers to reach
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 maximum
Change preposition
of aroung
show examples
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
 150
cameras
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
accidents
Use synonyms
 and deaths had different numbers.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the accidents
show examples
accidents
Change the noun form
accident
show examples
 rate
flucuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
fluctuates
 between 3 and
approximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 3.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2002 to 2003. During these years, camera
survillance
Correct your spelling
surveillance
 recorded about 25
camers
Correct your spelling
cameras
 in 2002, and increased to roughly 27 in 2003. In terms of 2004 and 2005, the speed
cameras
Use synonyms
 showed
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in its number to reach nearly 65,
while
Linking Words
 in 2005
this
Linking Words
 number soared to hoverly 150
cameras
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
accidents
Use synonyms
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
mortaility
Correct your spelling
mortality
 represented
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1% in
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 and about 3.6%
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
accidents
Use synonyms
. During 2004 the numbers were still increasing, but deaths recorded
1.1
Change preposition
at 1.1
show examples
% in 2005,
whereas
Linking Words
accidents
Use synonyms
 continued to rise to reach
approximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 4%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words accidents, cameras with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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