some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

There is a great deal of debate on whether it is beneficial to study non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

along with

Linking Words

major courses.

Although

Linking Words

some people believe it is essential to focus merely on their major qualifications, I support the view of studying other

subjects

Use synonyms

. On the

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

hand, proponents of studying for a qualification only believe it is significantly important to focus on one thing at a time.

This

Linking Words

is because time and effort

Change the verb form

are

show examples

required to be able to excel in academic performance, and if other

subjects

Use synonyms

that are irrelevant to their degree

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

learned it can negatively impact them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Supporters of

this

Linking Words

view highlight, that when individuals focus on their academic goals, it appears to be that they are more likely to get positions in companies, and industries that will highly appreciate their value.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

would lead to higher wages and a good standard of living.

In contrast

Linking Words

, opponents of

this

Linking Words

view argue that it is crucial to learn minor courses as it helps increase knowledge in different fields and positively affect the life of an individual.

For instance

Linking Words

, learning

subjects

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as painting,

while

Linking Words

studying biology as a major course at the university can help

and

Correct your spelling

show examples

individual gain experience in Art.

In addition

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

cite that it can

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a positive impact on their state of mind,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means that it helps reduce the stress and anxiety that

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

may

rise

Correct your spelling

arise

show examples

from major courses. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

it appears that

spearing

Verb problem

spending

show examples

all the time needed for a specific qualification is significant because of the benefit of earning a good job, it seems reasonable that the benefits

such

Linking Words

as gaining knowledge from different areas and self refection

Change the verb form

are

show examples

necessary.

sara.elkhansa

Jun 25, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and addresses both perspectives effectively. However, there is room for improvement in logical structure. Try to focus more on organizing ideas into paragraphs with a clear main idea for each. This will improve coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

There are some grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies that do not seriously impede communication but could be polished. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and word form. For example, 'On the on hand' should be 'On the one hand,' and 'it can has' should be 'it can have'.

coherence cohesion

To enhance your essay further, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Making use of linking phrases such as 'Moreover' and 'In addition' appropriately can help your essay flow better. This would improve coherence and cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly present your main idea and summarize the argument effectively.

relevant specific examples

Your use of relevant examples like learning painting while studying biology effectively supports your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Many people likes to wear fashionable clothes Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing?

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.