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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with data opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with data opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table gives an idea about the metro system in six
mega cities
Correct your spelling
megacities
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 with information about the date of launching the system, The distance of each
rout
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route
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 in
kilometers
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kilometres
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, and the number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year. The city with the most
passengers
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 per year is Tokyo city at a huge rate of 1928 million
passengers
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, followed by
paris
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Paris
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, and
then
Linking Words
london
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London
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, Washington DC, Los Angeles, and
lastly
Linking Words
kyoto
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Kyoto
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. London is
concidered
Correct your spelling
considered
 the oldest railway in the list being opened in 1863, And the newest would be LA's. Kyoto is the shortest by far with only 11
kilometers
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kilometres
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 of
railroad
Add an article
the railroad
a railroad
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, With
london
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London
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 Being the Longest in the group with 394
kilometers
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kilometres
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 of
rails
Fix the agreement mistake
rail
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. There is no connection between the length of the system and the number of
passengers
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since
tokyo
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Tokyo
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 has the highest rate of train riders even though it has the third longest train track between the cities, and with the decreased usage of cars in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
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 especially in
tokyo
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Tokyo
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 more people rely on metro stations as their main
traveling
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travelling
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 means, Unlike LA and Kyoto where car usage is much more popular.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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