Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowaday
, Correct your spelling
Nowadays
countries
with a Use synonyms
prolong
average working Replace the word
prolonged
time
are more economically successful, Use synonyms
Linking Words
likewise
they are Add a comma
likewise,
also
prone to Linking Words
strugle
Correct your spelling
struggle
from
detrimental social Change preposition
with
consequences
. I believe that Use synonyms
countries
need to find another way to be Use synonyms
economily successeful
and when people do not overwork themself, Correct your spelling
economically successful
hence
, they Linking Words
wont
suffer from certain bad social Add an apostrophe
won't
consequences
.
First of all, Use synonyms
i
want to present reasons why Change the capitalization
I
countries
where average Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
are
long are more likely to be good Correct subject-verb agreement
is
economicaly
. Correct your spelling
economically
Linking Words
First
, and Correct article usage
The first
obvios
reason is that Correct your spelling
obvious
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
which
have Correct pronoun usage
who
long
Correct article usage
a long
work
Use synonyms
time
are doing more Use synonyms
work
and making more money. Because of Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the prolong
prolong
Wrong verb form
prolonged
work
period, government expenditures are increasing, Use synonyms
hence
it is not so hard to guess Linking Words
thats
the Correct your spelling
that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
of
Change preposition
for
good
economic situation.
Now Add an article
the good
i
Change the capitalization
I
crave
to Verb problem
want
say
about Verb problem
talk
disadvantages
of Correct article usage
the disadvantages
a
long working Correct article usage
apply
time
. Definitely, Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this country
these countries
countries
suffering from negative social Use synonyms
consequences
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
suicude
among Correct your spelling
suicide
employes
. It is really a big problem that Correct your spelling
employees
countries
with a Use synonyms
prolong
average working Replace the word
prolonged
time
have. Use synonyms
As
Change preposition
For
example
Add a comma
example,
i
want to Change the capitalization
I
say
about Japan, which is one of the great developed Verb problem
talk
countries
Use synonyms
of
the world. Japan is Change preposition
in
economically
successful Correct article usage
an economically
countrie
, where people Correct your spelling
countries
country
overworking
and die because of it.
Maybe that sounds strange, but it is what it is. People are depressed because of Wrong verb form
overwork
work
all they think about is Use synonyms
work
, they simply do not have enough Use synonyms
time
to Use synonyms
life
, to spend with their friends, and Replace the word
live
Correct your spelling
that's
thats
why they choose Correct your spelling
that
Correct your spelling
suicide
suicude
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
suicide
i
agree that Change the capitalization
I
countries
with a long average working Use synonyms
time
are more economically successful, but Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
I stilli
stilli
believe that there Correct your spelling
still
is
Change the verb form
are
another
ways to achieve economic Correct quantifier usage
other
successes
,so they will not suffer from detrimental social Fix the agreement mistake
success
consequences
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points by providing detailed examples or explanations. This will enhance the completeness of your response and make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Avoid using informal language or expressions that might come across as unscholarly in your writing. Stick to formal language for a higher academic tone.
task achievement
Be sure to check for spelling and grammatical errors. Frequent mistakes can distract the reader and detract from your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider structuring each paragraph so that it makes a singular point that directly relates to the main argument of your essay. This will improve logical structure and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all main points and ideas logically transition to the following sections without abrupt changes. This will further improve your coherence and cohesion scores.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction states your position effectively, and the conclusion reiterates your stance well.
task achievement
You attempt to support your main argument with an example from Japan, which is a real-world context that adds some depth to your task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.