All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity and how could it be tackled?

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Obesity
has been a
world
concern in recent times. More and more
people
in the
world
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
struggling with the problem of
obesity
.
This
essay will discuss some causes and solutions to mitigate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
. There are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of reasons for the issue of
obesity
.
To begin
with, one of the major reasons
people
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
higher weight is the higher consumption of fast
food
and junk
food
such
as pizza,
burgars
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burgers
burglars
, packed chips, chocolates etc. These foods
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only contain higher calories, but
also
contain refined sugar, preservatives, and many other toxic materials, which play a major role in making humans obese.
Moreover
,
hustle
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the hustle
show examples
and bustle of modern society change the lifestyle of today's generation, which leads to inactive physical life.
People
spend most of their
day
time to work on their career goals, which
unable
Correct your spelling
enable
show examples
them to spend time on physical activity
such
as sports or exercise.
For example
, a survey conducted by
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Health
Organization (WHO) stated that 75% of obese
people
do not have any schedule to work on their
health
due to
their professional jobs.
obesity
is hard to defeat but the are numerous solutions to overcome it.
Firstly
,
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
diet can play
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in order to fight
with
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apply
show examples
obesity
. Healthy
food
does not only add proper nutrition
in
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to
show examples
one's diet, but
also
it contains far lower
amount
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amounts
show examples
of calories as compared to fast
food
and junk
food
.
Secondly
, physical activities
such
as gymming, walking or sports need to be part of daily routine, which can
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
to burn calories and
overall
body fitness. Even walking 15 minutes a
day
can drastically impact
on
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person's
health
.
For instance
, Apple
inc.
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Inc.
show examples
stated in a conference with the New York Times that data from watch
user
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users
show examples
show that
people
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
15 minutes of
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
improved their
health
over time. To recapitulate,
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
causes of
obesity
are high consumption of fast
food
and inactive lifestyle of
people
due to
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
world
, though it can be defeated with the implementation of
proper
Add an article
a proper
show examples
healthy diet
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lifestyle and doing any physical exercise on
day
Correct article usage
a day
show examples
to
day
basis.
Submitted by parthsolanki48963 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure clarity in your task response by directly addressing each part of the question. Expand on the solutions and reasons provided for a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by revising sentence structures for better flow. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which successfully frames the discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies key causes and solutions for obesity, such as diet and lifestyle.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Processed foods
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Caloric intake
  • Public health issue
  • Nutritional value
  • Food accessibility
  • Screen time
  • Healthy diet
  • Nutritional education
  • Subsidies for healthy foods
  • Wellness programs
  • Physical inactivity
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Government policies
  • Sugar tax
  • Nutrient-dense
  • Body Mass Index (BMI)
  • Fast food consumption
  • Lifestyle changes
What to do next:
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