Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Over the decades,
museums
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have played a crucial role in maintaining history and culture.
However
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, there is an ongoing debate about whether they should mainly function as entertaining places or remain focused on education. Both sides have strong arguments, which will be discussed before I state my own view. On the one hand, many people argue that
museums
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should be engaging. They believe that if
museums
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become more entertaining, more visitors , especially young
people
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people,
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will be attracted to them.
For example
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, adding interactive screens and virtual reality can make history feel alive and exciting. When visitors enjoy their experience, they tend to learn more naturally .
Moreover
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,
museums
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that entertain can interest tourists, which causes economic benefits for cities and countries.
On the other hand
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, others think that
museums
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exist mainly for educating people and preserving knowledge for future generations. Their main goal is to show real facts, harsh lifestyles and the comparison between present days and historic times rather than to entertain. If
museums
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focus too much on fun, they may lose their purpose.
For instance
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, too many games or visual effects might distract visitors from the real meaning
history
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of history
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. In my opinion, the best
museums
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are those that combine both education and entertainment. Learning does not have to be boring, and entertainment does not have to be meaningless. When
museums
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manage to teach important lessons through interactive and enjoyable experiences, they serve their mission more effectively.
To conclude
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,
museums
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should not be only for fun or only for education. A balance between the two makes them more appealing, meaningful, and useful for everyone.

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task
Add more clear proof for each main view and show how each point helps the overall idea.
language
Fix small spell and typing errors, and remove extra spaces.
coherence
Keep short, clean lines. Use simple linking words to guide the flow.
structure
End with a strong closing line that repeats your view.
structure
Good plan with clear sign posts to move through the topic.
content
The essay looks at both sides and gives a view.
presentation
Intro and conclusion frame the topic well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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