Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree …

#people #government #money #arts

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It is considered by some

people

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that the authorities' decision on spending has been quite biased towards the

arts

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, even though it would be better to invest in other fields. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

notion, and the reasons provided in

this

Linking Words

essay will justify my opinion. First things

first,

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the source of

government

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money comes from its citizens.

Therefore

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, utilizing it on something that would enhance

people

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's lives should be the first priority of any

government

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While

Linking Words

the

arts

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are certainly important for cultural development, the primary role of the

government

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is to address the immediate needs of its

people

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such

Linking Words

as healthcare,

education

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, and public safety. These sectors have a direct impact on the well-being of individuals and should receive more attention and financial support.

Moreover

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, investing in areas like healthcare or

education

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yields tangible results that benefit society as a whole.

For example

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, better healthcare systems lead to healthier populations, which in turn reduces long-term medical costs and increases productivity.

Similarly

Linking Words

, a strong

education

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system prepares future generations to face challenges and contribute to the economy. By focusing on these essential areas, the

government

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ensures that its citizens have the tools they need to live fulfilling lives and contribute to the nation's growth.

In contrast

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while

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the

arts

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undoubtedly contribute to a nation's cultural richness, their impact is often more abstract and long-term. The immediate benefits of

government

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spending on the

arts

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are harder to quantify, and in times of financial constraints, it may be more prudent to prioritize essential services over artistic endeavours. In conclusion,

while

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the

arts

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should not be entirely disregarded, the

government

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should direct its resources to sectors that have a more direct and immediate impact on the welfare of its citizens. Ensuring the health,

education

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, and security of the population must take precedence over funding artistic projects, as these are the areas that will enhance the lives of the

people

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and contribute to the

overall

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development of the country.

Submitted by caivankihh779 on Sun Dec 22 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, incorporate more relevant specific examples that clearly illustrate points made, enhancing the persuasiveness and relevance of the argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to maintain coherence, perhaps by using more linking phrases to connect ideas logically.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear position and stays consistent with it throughout, effectively supporting its main arguments with relevant points.

coherence cohesion

There is a well-defined introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main ideas effectively and providing a clear framework for the reader.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point, contributing to a coherent presentation of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree …

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

We should return to traditional and older values of respect for family and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries around the world, income inequality is a growing issue. What are the causes of income inequality and how it can be dealt with?