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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many educational institutes are offering online courses. Do the advantages of this form of education outweigh the disadvantages?

#institutes #courses #form #education
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A large number of academic centres are providing courses that are being held on online platforms.
While
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 there are some drawbacks associated with online education, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of
this
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 subject may be the unreliable internet connection in some places.
Due to
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 the fact that people in some countries
have
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do have
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 not
access
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high-speed internet, they may face
with
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apply
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difficulties in online
classes
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.
For instance
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, during the covid when educational centres should hold
the
Correct article usage
apply
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classes
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 online,
as a result
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 of
low-speed
Correct article usage
the low-speed
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 internet in Iran, many students could not participate in their
classes
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 easily. Another perceived negative is misunderstanding some subjects. Many lessons in schools or lots of fields in universities need practical training.
however
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, it is almost impossible to hold these subjects online and if these subjects were organized online, they could go unnoticed.
On the other hand
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, a primary advantage of online courses is easy
access
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 to them. Numerous learners especially in remote areas or small towns or even in
third world
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third-world
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 countries are deprived of
access
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 to proper
educations
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education
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.
Nonetheless
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,
this
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 method provides an effective situation in order for students to benefit from equal opportunities. Nowadays a vast number of online programs are organized by well-known institutes all over the world.
Therefore
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, everyone from everywhere can utilize them. A
further
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 major positive is decreasing
traffic
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 congestion in urban areas. Since students who travel by vehicle in cities are a big group of citizens that cause
traffic
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 jams
in
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at
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 specific times of the day, changing
the
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apply
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some in-person courses to online
classes
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, certainly has a positive effect on
traffic
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 problems. On balance, it is true that online education would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
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, in my view, its positive effects in terms of convenient
access
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 to suitable programs and solving
traffic
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 issues override the disadvantages.
Submitted by solmazahmadi.72 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or studies to add credibility to the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by comparing both the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, effectively framing the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are adequately supported, though there is room for deeper exploration.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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