In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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These days, many
people
Use synonyms
are dealing with hunger
while
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agriculture experienced significant developments. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
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hunger issue and give solutions.
To begin
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, there are many reasons for the hunger in many countries.
Firstly
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, progress in agriculture needs expensive machines, technology and advanced science, which leads to more costs for the farmers and suppliers.
As a result
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, the price of
food
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will rise and individuals who have low incomes cannot afford
food
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anymore.
Secondly
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, the authority of many countries only cares about the economic view and does not consider their
people
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. These authorities
moreover
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export huge amounts of their agricultural products abroad for their own
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
, which causes a lack of some products.
In addition
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, there are things that can be done for
this
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issue. I believe governments should help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society ,which does not have enough money, to afford
food
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by subsidising
food
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supply every month. They
also
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can give low-interest loans to suppliers for buying expensive machinery so they won't increase their product's cost. For the second problem, maybe global organizations help by researching the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of exports of a country
while
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their population are hungry.
Furthermore
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, there are many supporting groups and rich
people
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in developed countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
can raise money in the interest of these
people
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, who are hungry. To summarize, despite the development of agriculture, many
people
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are still hungry
due to
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economic and political issues.
Therefore
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, authorities and global organisations should think of a solution, like donating money, to solve
this
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problem.
Submitted by Mahshad on

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logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to the core topic and develops the argument logically from one point to the next.
clear comprehensive ideas
Instances of informal language like 'maybe' can appear casual for academic writing. Consider using more formal language such as 'it might be possible that' or 'it is advisable to'.
relevant specific examples
Include specific examples from different parts of the world to illustrate the general issues with hunger despite agricultural advances.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion neatly encapsulate the main points, setting a clear frame for your argument.
complete response
You have articulated your ideas clearly, ensuring that the essay covers multiple reasons and solutions to the problem of hunger.
supported main points
Your main points were well-developed and supported throughout the essay with thoughtful solutions and recommendations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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