Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that we should increase the prices of
sugar
products
so that less sugar
will be eaten. I think that this
may cause damage to the sugar
industry
and cause people
to live unhappy lives, although
people
can be healthier.
This
idea can pose a threat to the sweet-food manufacturers because there will be fewer people
buying their goods. As we all know, the higher the price of an item is ,the less customers buy it. So if we make sugary products
more expensive, a lot of people
will abandon them and buy other products
to enjoy themselves and as a result
, the sweet food industry
will fail to sell their products
and be endangered. For example
, citizens may prefer to buy more fast food like chips to have fun instead
of sugar
drinks or foods
. The damage to the sugar
industry
may also
lead to the unemployment of workers.
The higher price may also
be responsible for an unhappy life. It is evident that sweet foods
and beverages are the favourite goods of many civilians and eating sugar
is a good way to enable people
to feel happiness. So when we raise the prices of sugary products
, fewer people
can afford them and they lose a method to satisfy themselves. This
will result in a worse life, especially for the poor-- they have few methods to have fun and one of the main ways is prohibited.
However
, people
may have better bodies if they take in less sweet things. The high level of sugar
is always a cause to
fat and can present a challenge to Change preposition
of
people
’s health. With the rise of sugary goods’ prices, more and more people
will have other foods
and drinks and this
has a good effect on their fitness. For instance
, they may eat more fruits to take place sweet foods
and fruits are beneficial to them. There is slang ‘an
apple a day and doctors keep away’.
Change preposition
for ‘an
To sum up
, make
sugary items more expensive may allow Wrong verb form
making
people
to have a better conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
better conditions
a better condition
of
their bodies, but Change preposition
for
this
will lead to damage to the sugar
industry
and enable people
to live a
unhappy life.Change the article
an
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Task Response
Strive for a more balanced view by examining both sides of the argument in equal depth. This will enhance your essay's objectivity and depth of analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs. This aids in making your essay more cohesive and coherent.
Language
Consider revising your essay to correct small inaccuracies in word choice and sentence structure. This helps to improve clarity and precision.
Task Response
Good introduction and conclusion, presenting your position clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
You successfully used examples and explanations to support your main points, making your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure, with a logical flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
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