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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map below shows the development of an area between 1995 and the present. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the development of an area between 1995 and the present. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#development #area #information #features #comparisons
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The layouts show key information about the changes that took place
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an
area
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and the current time.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the maps that there have been some updates in the
area
Use synonyms
 to include more residential houses and
further
Linking Words
 modern facilities, which have replaced some traditional features. The past layout indicates a fish centre opposite the sea and the fishing port.
In addition
Linking Words
, a huge forest park on the east side of the map adjacent to a farmland.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the current layout reconstructed the fish market and involved additional housing units.
According to
Linking Words
 the past map, the housing units were conclusive on the west side of the
area
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 nature spaces were located on the opposite side of the residential
area
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fish markets and shops lie near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the coastline
along with
Linking Words
 a cafe shop. In terms of the adjustments that took place in the current time, it is obvious that the fishing
area
Use synonyms
 was demolished totally and reconstructed with a restaurant and some additional
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
. The nature spaces were turned into a golf field and tennis courts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a car park was added to the hotel building to organise the guests’ cars.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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