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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #year #school #university #travel #work
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High school graduates are encouraged to take a
gap
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year
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 before attending university.
Although
Linking Words
 taking a
year
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 off may contribute to the risk of losing academic momentum, it
also
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 offers the benefits of improving life
skills
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 from working experience and
knowledge
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 from travel. It must be recognized that
students
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 can get hands-on experience from early exposure to the working environment during
this
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 period. Once they get engaged in the internship, interacting with co-workers helps them enhance practical
skills
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such
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 as communication and responsibility, which are beneficial for their future careers and academic performance.
Consequently
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, after quitting these jobs,
students
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 can apply it in higher education, making their studies more effective. Another advantageous factor of
this
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 trend is the
knowledge
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 gained from travel.
In other words
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, teenagers can be exposed to different ways of life and cultures,
therefore
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 broadening their horizons
as a result
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 of overseas trips.
For instance
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, Japanese
students
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 frequently journey to Western nations to broaden their perspectives, which aids them in comprehending the world.
Thus
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, the
knowledge
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 they grasp from a
gap
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year
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 fosters a sense of independence and intelligence. On the downside, certain teens may feel like they are falling behind after taking a
year
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 off. To be more specific,
this
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 feeling happens when they have to study with younger people or see their friends graduate sooner than them.
Moreover
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, a
year
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 away from formal education can
also
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 make them struggle to readjust to the demands of university.
Therefore
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, a feeling of being pushed back created by peer pressure is unavoidable, making
students
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 become stressed.
This
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 is a misunderstanding as
this
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gap
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year
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 actually equips them with useful
skills
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 and
knowledge
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 that puts them years ahead, not behind. In conclusion, the opportunity to gain vital
skills
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 and
knowledge
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 outweighs the possible impact of losing track of
knowledge
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.
Hence
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, having a
gap
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year
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 can be more beneficial for teenagers before commencing with tertiary education.
Submitted by AE Gay lord on

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task response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, but try to provide a slightly more balanced discussion with equal weight to both sides for a more thorough analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using more varied linking words and phrases.
task response
Consider supporting points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents several advantages of taking a gap year with clear explanations.
coherence and cohesion
There is a good use of transitional phrases that generally help in maintaining a cohesive structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Academic momentum
  • Practical experience
  • Financial pressures
  • Interim period
  • Soft skills
  • Maturity
  • Independence
  • Career exploration
  • Re-adjustment
  • Social setbacks
  • Informed decision-making
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