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Writing Samples
Band 7

Do you agree with the following statement? Good teachers are more important to a child's development than good parents. Use specific details to support your argument.

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The debate surrounding the relative importance of good
teachers
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 versus good
parents
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 in a
child’s
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development
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 has sparked significant discussion.
While
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 both play crucial roles, I believe that
teachers
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 are more instrumental in fostering a
child’s
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 intellectual and personal growth, particularly as they progress beyond infancy.
Parents
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 undoubtedly play an indispensable role in the early stages of a
child’s
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development
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. During infancy and toddlerhood,
parents
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 provide essential support by ensuring their children develop fundamental life skills
such
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 as eating, sleeping, and basic hygiene. These foundational habits, nurtured in a domestic environment, are critical for a
child’s
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 physical and emotional well-being.
However
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, these skills represent only the preliminary stages of a
child’s
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overall
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development
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.
In contrast
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,
teachers
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 offer specialized knowledge and structured learning that extend far beyond the capabilities of most
parents
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. At school, children are exposed to a wide array of subjects, including mathematics, languages, arts, and sciences, which require trained professionals with expertise in teaching methods.
Moreover
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,
teachers
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 cultivate intellectual curiosity, critical thinking, and discipline—skills that are essential for success in the modern world.
For instance
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,
while
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 some
parents
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 may lack the time or resources to
instill
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instil
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 a habit of reading, schools provide equal opportunities for children to develop
this
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 and other important habits.
Thus
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,
teachers
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 play a pivotal role in bridging gaps that might exist in a
child’s
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 home environment. In conclusion,
while
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parents
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 lay the groundwork for a
child’s
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 early
development
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,
teachers
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 play a more significant role in shaping their intellectual and social abilities. For these reasons, I strongly agree that good
teachers
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 are fundamental to a
child’s
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overall
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development
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.

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task achievement
To achieve a band 9, include more specific examples or real-life scenarios to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next; consider using linking words or phrases for even stronger cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The argument is comprehensive, with balanced consideration of both parents' and teachers' roles.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported and illustrate a deep understanding of the topic.
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