Some students work while studying.This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. what do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Some
students
are compelled to Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
while
they are doing their studies Linking Words
due to
various reasons which often leads to inadequate Linking Words
time
for their education and Use synonyms
subsequently
feeling under pressure.
One reason Linking Words
as to
why some Change preposition
apply
students
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
while
studying is Linking Words
due to
the fact that most of these Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
institutions
that these Use synonyms
students
are enrolled Use synonyms
into
have higher Change preposition
on
tuition
rates Use synonyms
especially
private Add the comma(s)
, especially
institutions
and most of them require Use synonyms
students
to pay a certain percentage before they can be allowed to Use synonyms
study
so Use synonyms
this
forces the Linking Words
students
to Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
while
they are studying in order to be able to meet the Linking Words
tuition
requirements, Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
then
leads to no Linking Words
time
given to focus on their education
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Secondly
it is because some Add a comma
Secondly,
students
come from poor financial backgrounds in that they have to provide for themselves with no help from their families yet these Use synonyms
students
are very interested in advancing their careers, so they end up working Use synonyms
while
studying in order to be able to achieve their dreams and Linking Words
this
stresses them and makes them feel under tension.
A solution to Linking Words
this
problem could be Linking Words
the
government should increase scholarships to help fund some of these Change preposition
for the
students
from a poor financial background Use synonyms
this
in turn reduces the burden they have to Linking Words
parttime
Correct your spelling
part-time
work
Use synonyms
while
studying and gives them more Linking Words
time
for studies Use synonyms
hence
they will be under less pressure.
Another way of solving the problems above is that more student loan schemes should be set up by the country and Linking Words
subsequently
Linking Words
students
should be encouraged to take these up so that they can be able to pay the loan after their duration of Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
that is
when they are working ,Linking Words
this
gives them Linking Words
time
to concentrate Use synonyms
while
studying because they are not worried about where they are going to get the Linking Words
tuition
from and Use synonyms
this
lead to lesser pressure
The country should Linking Words
also
focus on building more Linking Words
government aided
Add a hyphen
government-aided
institutions
in which Use synonyms
students
pay a subsidized rate of Use synonyms
tuition
, Use synonyms
this
helps curb the problem of higher Linking Words
tuition
rates Use synonyms
that
Linking Words
is
usually found common among private Change the verb form
are
institutions
so that Use synonyms
students
that are not able to meet their Use synonyms
fees
requirements are able to Fix the agreement mistake
fee
study
at government aided organizations, pay less and enable more Use synonyms
time
for studies.Use synonyms
Submitted by lucyakol07 on
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coherence
To improve coherence, try to ensure that each paragraph follows logically into the next. Use clear transitions between ideas to guide the reader smoothly through your points.
introduction conclusion
Include a clear conclusion to summarize the main points and readdress the task statement, especially anchoring back to causes and solutions. This will boost both coherence and task achievement.
relevant examples
Use more specific examples or data to strengthen your points. This can make your argument more convincing and well-rounded.
introduction
You have a clear introduction which sets up the main issue well. This provides a strong foundation for your essay and makes your position clear from the start.
task response
Good attempt at suggesting solutions. Identifying government scholarship schemes and new education policies as solutions addresses the task requirement effectively.
supported points
Your main points are adequately explained, and you offer a real-world context which makes the arguments relatable and tangible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.