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Band 6.5

Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#men #woman #care #appearance
It is true that both females and males become more conscious of their looks than in the past. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 view since they are required to look better from both personal and social perspectives. On the one hand, there is still a wide range of
people
 who don'
t
 care about their
appearance
 and personal image.
Firstly
, workers in some industries are usually busy with their endless
work
 and
thus
 don'
t
 have enough
time
 to go shopping or dress up.
For example
,
people
 from some fields, like engineering, doctors and nurses, are confronted with complicated and excessive tasks and don'
t
 have free
time
.
Secondly
, there is no need or occasion for certain
people
 to have an outstanding
appearance
.
For instance
, cleaners and car-fix workers, who
work
 in a dirty and casual environment, don'
t
 have to dress in beautiful
clothes
 because they are more likely to make them dirty.
Therefore
,
people
 wear casual
clothes
 because of their busy schedules and
work
 environment. Regardless of the arguments I mentioned above, I completely consider that an increasing number of humans now pay more attention to their
appearance
 than before. The primary reason is that they have enough budgets to support them with abundant
clothes
 and accessories like watches, rings and necklaces. Both men and women are more likely to spend money and a certain
time
 choosing their
clothes
.
Secondly
,
people
 nowadays foster a sense of aesthetic appreciation and
thus
 have their own styles of
clothes
. Artists and journalists possibly want to show their images through their ways of dressing themselves.
Thirdly
, there are more formal and meaningful ceremonies for
people
 to attend, which means a growing demand for
people
 to pay attention to their
appearance
. In conclusion,
while
 there are still a lot of
people
 who don'
t
 care about their
appearance
 because of their limited
time
 and
work
 environment, more
people
 are conscious of having a beautiful look.
Submitted by 609553855 on

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task achievement
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Create more cohesive devices within and between paragraphs to link ideas clearly and coherently.
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