The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate the reasons that contribute to
happiness
Use synonyms
among two distinct age categories: individuals under 30 and those over 30 years old.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular reason for both groups is achievement at work, followed by hobbies as the second largest contributor. For people under 30, additional significant factors include having a good appearance and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
those over 30, financial security and spending time with family are the other major contributors. Achievement at work is the primary reason for
happiness
Use synonyms
in both age groups, accounting for just over 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in each category.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, hobbies represent the next largest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
, with 22% of young people and 24% of older individuals citing them as a source of joy.
However
Linking Words
, other factors account for a lower total, at 14% among individuals under 30 and just 10% for those over 30. For the younger group, having a good appearance and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
make up
Join the words
makeup
show examples
18% and 15% of their
happiness
Use synonyms
, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, for the older group, financial security and family time collectively account for 34% of their
overall
Linking Words
happiness
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by prabodyagamage on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words happiness with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • contributing factors
  • distinct age groups
  • primary sources
  • comprising
  • leading contributors
  • predominant
  • accounting for
  • underscores contrasts
  • prioritize
  • universal aspects of well-being
  • engaging in enjoyable activities
  • source of joy
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