IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree

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It is debated whether a country can balance economic success with environmental sustainability. Some argue that economic growth and a clean atmosphere coexist through modernity and that the pursuit of profit inevitably leads to environmental degradation. Economic rise and a clean background can happen at the same time. When we use more modern technologies and government
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 has to use more modern methods of police. Because devices which are manufactured in recent years are safer and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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do not produce toxic to the biosphere.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Additionally. Consider adding a comma.

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 they are more understandable to young learners.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many developed countries
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as Korea and Japan, utilise more developed devices
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as green technology to achieve a healthy nature.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 shows us we can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 attain growth damaging nature. Economic success often causes harm to the environment. Some factories and industries are polluting more water and air, soil and they trying to make more money by expanding their budget.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in India and Dubai, there is deforestation and dirty air
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 rapid improvement. People who live in these kinds of areas do not believe that it is hard to balance the increase
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 countries' money and protect natural places.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, businesses focus more on making a profit than protecting the ecosystem.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is possible to prevent a habitat with the rise of the economy
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 economic prosperity can damage the ecosystem. In my opinion, if countries plan carefully and use
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun technology in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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modern technology. Balancing these two factors is important for the future.

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coherence cohesion
Practice enhancing logical transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Work on providing a clearer distinction between contrasting ideas and positions to make your argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
You've presented a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your argument well.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to illustrate your points, enhancing the strength of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economically successful
  • Clean environment
  • Sustainable practices
  • Green technologies
  • Eco-tourism
  • Healthier workforce
  • Healthcare costs
  • Short-term economic growth
  • Profit over environment
  • Heavy industries
  • Developing countries
  • Sacrifice
  • Economic development
  • Transitioning
  • Balance
  • Sustainable development
  • International cooperation
  • Incentivize
  • Eco-friendly business practices
  • Investment in education
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