IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that public facilities (e.g. zoos, museums, parks)should be free. Other people think that you should pay to use these facilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #facilities #e #g #zoos #museums #parks
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Public
facilities
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 are now indispensable resources in our lives. They give amusement in our day-to-day lives
,
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apply
show examples
 and
also
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 help us in an educational perspective. But, many
people
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 argue about whether to pay for the
use
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 of public
facilities
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 or not. In
this
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 essay, we are going to compare these two different views and I'm going to give my opinion.
Firstly
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, from the point of view that it can be used for free say like
this
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. Every person pays taxes and they are used to maintain national finance, which affects almost every national infrastructure. Basically, we always pay money for all public
facilities
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. So, if we have to pay to
use
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 public
facilities
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, it can be considered a double collection.
On the other hand
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, the perspective of
people
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 who need to pay to
use
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 public
facilities
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, think differently. Public
facilities
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 are necessary for maintenance and repair
due to
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 the
use
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 of many
people
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. That's the reason why we have to pay and thanks to the money we pay, many
people
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 can enjoy
facilities
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such
Linking Words
 as zoos, and museums in a pleasant environment with long-term benefits. I
also
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 think the view that it should be used for a fee is reasonable. If it is operated for a fee, I think it is possible to create a variety of content through funds and is strong in terms of sustainability. The reason is that more things to enjoy will attract more
people
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, which will be effective in creating sustainable public
facilities
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.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples to support each viewpoint. Including real-world examples or studies would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one and consider including more linking words to guide the reader through your argument easily.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives and presents a clear thesis statement with your opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and there is a logical progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and reinforces your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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