Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

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In recent years, the number of

individuals

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who have a propensity to purchase

luxury

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items

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such

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as famous brands of clothes and cars has increased drastically, primarily

due to

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social pressure and aggressive marketing strategies .

However

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, I firmly believe that

this

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phenomenon has a negative impact on both the finances and psychology of the

individuals

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This

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essay will elucidate the reasons for

this

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trend and discuss the negative consequences.

To begin

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, the main factor which causes

individuals

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to purchase

luxury

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items

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such

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as high-end clothing and cars is social pressure.

This

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issue arises as the community expects the wealthy to demonstrate status.

For instance

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, research shows that the majority of rich women in Kazakhstan buy

luxury

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fur coats in order to create an image, helping them look more like eminent ones.

Secondly

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, aggressive marketing strategies which include celebrity endorsement are known to mislead

people

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's choices. To illustrate, Dior's fragrance campaigns with Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman urge the public to buy expensive

items

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Nevertheless

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, it is important to recognize that

this

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trend has a detrimental effect on both the finances and psychology of the

individuals

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Firstly

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and financially,

luxury

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items

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are often expensive, leaving

people

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in debt or compromising their savings to afford them.

Additionally

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this

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leads to psychological issues since

such

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expenditure may not always yield the desired results, leading to dissatisfaction, regret, or even depression.

Furthermore

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, reliance on external validation can perpetuate a cycle of insecurity, as

people

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may feel compelled to undergo repeated purchases to maintain societal approval , causing

individuals

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to have low self-esteem. In conclusion, purchasing expensive

items

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, driven by social pressure and aggressive marketing strategies, has significant negative consequences on

individuals

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' finances and psychology . It is essential for

people

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to prioritize their needs and purchase only necessary products to mitigate these adverse effects.

pandatvin3Tue Dec 24 2024

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What works well

introduction

Your introduction clearly lays out the topic and your stance, providing a solid foundation for your essay.

logical structure

The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, with organized paragraphs and a consistent flow of ideas.

supported main points

You effectively used specific examples like the fur coat trend in Kazakhstan and the Dior fragrance campaigns to substantiate your points.

Improvement Suggestions

task response

While your essay effectively covers the reasons and implications of purchasing luxury items, consider adding more varied examples to enrich your arguments. Including examples from different contexts, like technological products or real estate, could strengthen your analysis.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be done by using linking phrases that reinforce connections between your ideas, ensuring the flow from one point to another is seamless.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

2.Some high school leavers tent to travel or work while before going to university directly. What do you think are the advantages more than disadvantages?

Television sports program shows such Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree include examples in your answer and provide your owns opinion.

In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantagse?

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is is a positive or negative development?

There are more new towns being built nowadays it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for individual to spend their free time to .what extent do you agree or disagree?