IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe it is better to study at local universities while others believe it is more beneficial to study overseas. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is a discussion on
whereas
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 is better to study at local universities or
that
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whether
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 it is more beneficial to to do it overseas.
Therefore
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, in
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I am going to discuss both views and give a final conclusion. If we decide to complete our studies close to our home we can have several alternatives.
For example
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, if we go to a university
that is
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 located in our city or in our own country, we will probably not have the chance to have experiences that
ar
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are
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 far away
of
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from
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 what we
all
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apply
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ready
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already
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 have experienced, like
geting
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getting
 to know new cultures or people from all around the world.
Nevertheless
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, studying at local universities has its benefits, your family and friends are
goind
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going
 to be close to you, and if you have any type of problem you are going to always have someone
that
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who
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 can help you.
In addition
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, if the university
its
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is
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 nearby your house, you will not have to move away, and that has good
economical
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economic
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 benefits.
On the other hand
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, studying overseas has its
possitives
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positive
positives
 sides too,
for instance
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, you will have the opportunity to move to another country or city and get to know different cultures,
people
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and people
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 from all around the world and have experiences that you could never imagine.
However
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,
this
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 choice has its downfalls, you will have to be an independent person and that requires
responsabilities
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responsibilities
 like having control of your own money,
coocking
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cooking
looking
 for
your self
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yourself
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 or just the fact that you are alone in another part of the world. Now that I have commented the
the
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apply
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advanteges
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advantages
 and
disadvanteges
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disadvantages
 of both choices I have concluded that it is better to study
out side
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outside
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 of your own city or country
,
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apply
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 because even though it has its drawbacks it is an experience that you
migh
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might
 never have if you do not do it.
Also
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,
this
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 will give you the opportunity to get to know
your self
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yourself
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 by knowing other persons or cultures, and that in my opinion will make you more cultivated and mature.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance coherence by using more transition words such as 'furthermore', 'in contrast', or 'on the other hand'. This can help in creating a more seamless flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Ensure each argument is supported with specific examples or detailed explanations to strengthen your points.
Language Accuracy
Some grammatical errors are present, such as 'ar far away' instead of 'far different', and phrases like 'coocking'. Be sure to proofread carefully to avoid these.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good framework for the discussion.
Task Achievement
Both sides of the argument were addressed, giving balance to the essay and fulfilling the task requirement.
Task Achievement
The essay attempts to provide a personal opinion, which enhances the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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