Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?

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In recent years, many students have faced growing challenges in maintaining focus on their studies, largely
due to
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the distractions caused by rapid technological advancements and the influences of peer pressure .
However
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, I firmly believe
this
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issue can be effectively addressed through two key strategies: fostering a supportive environment for youth and implementing parental controls on electronic devices.
This
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essay will analyze the underlying causes of
this
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phenomenon and propose practical solutions to tackle it.
To begin
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with,the main factor contributing to
children
Use synonyms
's lack of focus on their studying is that they are surrounded by gadgets
such
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as smartphones which offer them a great range of video games.
For instance
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, research shows that some 60% of
children
Use synonyms
are distracted by electronic devices in Kazakhstan.
As a result
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,
this
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causes not only the distraction from school duties but
also
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health issues like poor vision.
Additionally
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, a huge number of
children
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face peer pressure, including substance abuse which causes youth to lower their concentration on education.
Consequently
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,
this
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leads to a reduction in both cognitive development and academic performance. Despite all these challenges,
this
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issue can be tackled by implementing effective strategies.
Firstly
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, parents should set up parental control over electronic devices.
This
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can be done by using Apps like Net Nanny which allows parents to limit the screen time of their offspring, encouraging youth to allocate more time to education.
This
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highlights the importance of parental control of gadgets in order to boost
children
Use synonyms
's academic performance
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task achievement
Try to extend your conclusion to provide a summary or final thought on the topic, reinforcing your solutions and adding closure to the argument.
task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples and evidences that are closely tied to each cause and solution for better support of your main points.
coherence cohesion
Introduce linking words more frequently to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs for a smoother transition.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the causes and solutions to be discussed, setting a clear direction for the essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples which help in supporting your analysis, such as referencing research statistics.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are generally arranged in a logical order, helping the reader to follow your argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Attention span
  • Distraction
  • Screen time
  • Cognitive development
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Engagement strategies
  • Learning environment
  • Curriculum overload
  • Noise pollution
  • Classroom dynamics
  • Academic pressure
  • Social dynamics
  • Focus and concentration
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