Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Nowadays, becoming a

celebrity

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like a famous film star or an athlete can bring issues and advantages.

This

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is an interesting topic. In

this

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essay, I will provide some opinions on

this

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matter. In

this

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era, most people want to become a

celebrity

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like actors or sports players.

This

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will bring more problems because usually becoming superstars will there are a lot of people who intend to

provide

Verb problem

have

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negative impacts on us. If we can not select a good

friendship

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consequently

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, we will be influenced by a bad

friendship

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For example

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, there is a religious person who was previously never to go to a

night club

Correct your spelling

nightclub

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and party. After he becomes a

celebrity

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, he is influenced by a bad

friendship

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and ultimately, he is always addicted

drinking

Change preposition

to drinking

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alcohol and becoming intoxicated.

Hence

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, if you feel it is easier to be influenced by a bad

friendship

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, I suggest you stop dreaming of becoming a superstar.

In addition

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, if you become a

celebrity

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, your life will always be watched by the media. Even if you face a problem, your issue will

spread

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to the public very quickly.

For instance

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, when there is a

celebrity

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who gets difficulty in his life and he selects to keep his problem in order that your public does not

spread

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to the public.

However

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, a few days later, his issue has already

spread

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to the public. So, very difficult to keep your issue in order so that do not

spread

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to the public. In conclusion, becoming a

celebrity

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is not easy. A life under constant media scrutiny and exposure to influential people can have negative impacts,

such

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as falling into bad friendships or losing privacy. If it's hard to avoid bad influences, it's better to reconsider the dream of becoming a superstar.

akbarsurya264Wed Dec 25 2024

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task achievement

You have introduced the topic clearly and provided a conclusion. Consider elaborating more on your main points in the body paragraphs to make your argument more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the next. While your essay is mostly cohesive, the connection between ideas in paragraphs could be improved for better logical flow.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear frame for your argument.

task achievement

You addressed both the problems and benefits of being a celebrity, which shows an effort to tackle the essay question comprehensively.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Nowadays people live in the society where consumer goods are cheaper to buy. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Digital technology is becoming the main role in our lives. This provides both advantages and disadvantages. To what extent do you agree?

In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.